A Dirty Job (Grim Reaper 1)

"You don't think it was just that she had your crank in her hand at the time, because that can cloud a guy's judgment. "

"Yeah, there's that, but still, you have to think, of all the Death Merchants in all of the cities on the planet, she chose me to share the death wank. I think she had a thing for me. "

"Well, you're in the City of Two Bridges," said Vern, brushing a little maple glaze from the corner of his mouth. "That's where it's supposed to happen. "

"Where what's supposed to happen?" Charlie had really enjoyed being the senior Death Merchant, acting as the elder statesman to Vern, who had been called to recruit souls only six months ago. Now he was thrown.

"In The Great Big Book of Death, it says that we can't talk about what we do, or try to find each other, or the Forces of Darkness will rise up in the City of Two Bridges and there will be a horrible battle and the Underworld will rise and cover the land if we lose. You guys have two bridges in San Francisco, right?"

Charlie tried to hide his surprise. Vern had obviously gotten a different version of the Great Big Book than they got in San Francisco. "Well, two main ones, yes. Sorry, it's been a long time since I read the book. Remind me why the City of Two Bridges is so important?"

Vern gave Charlie the big "duh" look. "Because that is where the new Luminatus, the Great Death, will take power. "

"Oh yeah, of course, the Luminatus. " Charlie thumped himself in the side of the head. He had no idea what Vern was talking about.

"You think that they won't need us anymore, after the Great Death takes power?" Vern asked. "I mean, will there be layoffs? Because the Big Book makes it sound like the Luminatus rising is a good thing, but I've been making a ton of money since I got this gig. "

Yeah, that's going to be our problem, layoffs, Charlie thought. "I think we'll be fine. Like the book says, it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. "

"Right, right, right. So this cop that shot the sexy-goddess babe, he didn't do anythin

g?"

"No, not nothing. First he put me in the back of his cop car and tried to get me to tell him what had been going on when he showed up, and what had been going on for these last few years he's been checking on me. "

"And what did you tell him?"

"I told him that it was as much a mystery to me as it was to him. "

"And he believed that?"

"No. He didn't. But he did believe it when I told him that if I told him more it would get worse, so we came up with a story that justified his firing his weapon. A guy with a gun taking a shot at me, then at him - descriptions, everything. Then when he was sure we had it straight, he took me to the station and I wrote out my statement. "

"That's it, he let you go. "

"No, then he told me stories about his career, and the weird stuff he's encountered, and why because of that, he was going to let me go. The guy is a complete nut job. He believes in vampires and demons and giant owls - he said that he once handled a call for a polar-bear attack in Santa Barbara. "

"Wow," said Vern. "You lucked out. "

"I called him before we left the city. He's going to check on my building until I get home, make sure my daughter is okay. " Charlie hadn't told Vern about the hellhounds.

"You must be worried sick about her," Vern said. "I have a kid, she's a junior in high school, lives with my ex-wife in Phoenix. "

"Yeah, so you know," Charlie said. "So, Vern, you've never seen any of these dark creatures? Never heard voices coming out of the storm drains? Nothing like that?"

"Nope. Not like you're talking about. We don't have storm drains in Sedona. We have a desert with rivers through it. "

"Right, but have you ever missed getting a soul vessel?"

"Yeah, at first, when I got the Great Big Book, I thought it was a joke. I skipped three or four of them. "

"And nothing happened?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that. I'd wake up early, and look up at the mountain above my house, and there'd be a shadow there, looked like a big oil slick. "

"So?"

"So, it would be on the wrong side of the mountain. It would be on the same side as the sun. And during the course of the day, it moved down the mountain. Oh, if you didn't look at it, watch it, you'd look right by it, but it was coming down into the city, hour by hour. I drove out to where I saw it going, and waited for it. "