A Dirty Job (Grim Reaper 1)

"It was a fucked-up day," Rivera said. "Charlie, you need to take your daughter and get out of town. "

"I can't do that. This is about me. You'll keep me informed, right?"

"Promise you won't try to do anything stupid or heroic?"

&nb

sp; "Not in my DNA, Inspector. I'll call you if I see anything. "

Charlie disconnected, having no idea what he was going to do, but feeling like he had to do something. He called Jane's house to say good night to Sophie.

"I just want you to know that I love you very much, honey. "

"Me, too, Daddy. Why did you call?"

"What, you have a meeting or something?"

"We're having ice cream. "

"That's nice. Look, Sophie, Daddy has to go do some things, so I want you to stay with Aunt Jane for a few days, okay?"

"Okay. Do you need some help? I'm free. "

"No, honey, but thank you. "

"Okay, Daddy. Alvin is looking at my ice cream. He looks hungry, like bear. I have to go. "

"Love you, honey. "

"Love you, Daddy. "

"Apologize to Aunt Cassie for calling her an anti-Semite. "

"'Kay. " Click.

She hung up on him. The apple of his eye, the light of his life, his pride and joy, hung up on him. He sighed, but felt better. Heartbreak is the natural habitat of the Beta Male.

Charlie took a few minutes in the kitchen to sharpen the edge of the sword-cane on the back of the electric can opener he and Rachel had received as a wedding present, then he headed out to check on the store.

As soon as he opened the door to the back staircase Charlie heard strange animal noises coming from the store. It sounded as if they were coming from the back room, and there were no lights on, although he could see plenty of light filtering in from the store. Was this it? Sort of solved the problem of what he was going to do.

He drew the sword from his cane and crept down the stairs in a crouch, moving along the edge of each step to minimize squeakage. Halfway down he saw the source of the animal noises and he recoiled, leaping nearly halfway back up the staircase.

"For the love of God!"

"It needed to be done," Lily said. She was astraddle Ray Macy, her plaid pleated skirt (mercifully) draped out over him, covering the parts that would have caused Charlie to have to tear his eyes out, which he was thinking about doing anyway.

"It did," Ray agreed breathlessly.

Charlie peeked down into the back room - they were still at it, Lily riding Ray like he was a mechanical bull, one bare breast bouncing out of the lapel of her chef 's coat.

"He was despondent," she said. "I found him giving himself hickies with the shop vac. It's for the greater good, Asher. "

"Well, stop it," Charlie said.

"No, no, no, no, no," said Ray.

"It's a charity thing," Lily said.