"You know, Lily," Charlie said, covering his eyes, "you could exercise your charity in other ways, like Salvation Army Santa or something. "
"I don't want to fuck those guys. Most of them are raging alcoholics, and they stink. At least Ray is clean. "
"I don't mean do one, I mean be one. Ring the bell with the little red kettle. Jeez. "
"I am clean," said Ray.
"You shut up," Charlie said. "She's young enough to be your daughter. "
"He was suicidal," Lily said. "I may be saving his life. "
"She is," Ray said.
"Shut up, Ray," Charlie said. "This is pathetic, desperate pity sex, that's all it is. "
"He knows that," Lily said.
"I don't mind," said Ray.
"I'm doing this for the cause, too," Lily said. "Ray was holding out on you. "
"I was?" said Ray.
"How?" Charlie said.
"He found a woman who was buying all the soul vessels. She was with the clients you missed. Somewhere in the Mission. He wasn't going to tell you about her. "
"I don't know what you're talking about," Ray said. Then added, "Faster, please. "
"Tell him the address," Lily said.
"Lily," Charlie said, "this isn't really necessary. "
"No," Ray said.
There was a loud smack. Charlie opened his eyes. They were still there, doing it, but Ray's right cheek was bright red and Lily was winding up to slap him again.
"Tell him!"
"It's on Guerrero Street, between Eighteenth and Nineteenth, I don't know the number, but it's a big green Victorian, you can't miss it. Three Jewels Buddhist Center. "
SMACK!
"Ouch, I told him," Ray whined.
"That's for not getting the address, BITCH!" Lily said. Then to Charlie: "There you go, Asher. I want a prime position when you take over the Underworld!"
Charlie thought that one of the first things he was going to change when he took over was expanding The Great Big Book of Death to include how to handle situations like this. But instead he said, "You got it, Lily. You'll be in charge of dress code and torture. "
"Sweet," Lily said. "'Scuse me, Asher, I have to finish this. " Then to Ray: "Hear that? No more flannel shirts for you, grommet!" SMACK!
The grunts coming from Ray increased in frequency and intensity.
"Sure," Charlie said. "I'll just go out the other door. "
"See ya," Ray said.
"I'm never going to look either one of you in the eye again, okay?"