The street was deserted when they pulled up in front of the Three Jewels Buddhist Center.
"I'll go around to the back," Minty said.
Well, cars suck, I can tell you that," said Babd, trying to keep herself together as the Morrigan limped back to the great ship. "Five thousand years, horses are fine, all of a sudden we have to have paved streets and cars. I don't see the attraction. "
"I'm not even sure that we need to rise and let Darkness rule," said Nemain. "Apparently darkness isn't qualified yet. Speaking as an agent of Darkness, I think it needs more time. " She had been crushed into a half-woman, half-raven form and was shedding feathers as they limped through the pipe.
"It's like that New Meat has someone watching over him," said Macha. "Next time Orcus can deal with him. "
"Yeah, let's get Orcus to go after him," Babd said. "See what he thinks of cars. "
Chapter 24
24
AUDREY AND THE SQUIRREL PEOPLE
Charlie could hear things scurrying under the porch as he walked to the front door of the Buddhist center, but the weight of the enormous pistol he'd stuck down the back of his belt reassured him, even if it was pulling his pants down a little. The front door was nearly twelve feet tall, red, with reeded glass running the length, and there were arrays of colorful Tibetan prayer wheels, like spools, on either side of the door. Charlie knew what they were because he'd once had a thief try to sell him some hot ones stolen from a temple.
Charlie knew he should kick down the door, but then, it was a really big door, and although he had watched a lot of cop shows and movies where door kicking had been done, he was inexperienced himself. Another option was to pull his pistol and blast the lock off the door, but he didn't know any more about lock blasting than he did door kicking, so he decided to ring the doorbell.
The scurrying noises increased and he could hear heavier footsteps inside. The door swung open and the pretty brunette he knew as Elizabeth Sarkoff - Esther Johnson's fake niece - stood in the doorway.
"Why, Mr. Asher, what a pleasant surprise. "
It won't be for long, sister, said his inner tough guy. "Mrs. Sarkoff, nice to see you. What are you doing here?"
"I'm the receptionist. Come in, come in. "
Charlie stepped into the foyer, which opened up to a staircase and had sliding double doors on either side. He could see that straight back the foyer led to a dining room with a long table, and beyond that a kitchen. The house had been restored nicely, and didn't really have the appearance of a public building.
The inner tough guy said, Don't try to run your game on me, floozy. I've never hit a dame before, but if I don't get some straight talk quick, I'm willing to give it a try, see. Charlie said, "I had no idea you were a Buddhist. That's fascinating. How's your Aunt Esther, by the way?" He had her now, didn't even have to slap her around.
"Still dead. Thanks for asking, though. What can I do for you, Mr. Asher?"
The sliding door to the left of them opened an inch and someone, a young man's voice, said, "Master, we need you. "
"I'll be right there," said the alleged Mrs. Sarkoff.
"Master?" Charlie raised an eyebrow.
"We hold receptionists in very high regard in the Buddhist tradition. " She grinned, really big and goofy, like she didn't even believe it herself. Charlie was totally charmed by the laughter and open surrender in her eyes. Trust there, with no reason for it.
"Good God, you're a bad liar," he said.
"Guess you could see right through my moo-poo, huh?" Big grin.
"So, you are?" Charlie offered his hand to shake.
"I am the Venerable Amitabha Audrey Rinpoche. " She bowed. "Or just Audrey, if you're in a hurry. " She took two of Charlie's fingers and shook them.
"Charlie Asher," Charlie said. "So you're not really Mrs. Johnson's niece. "
"And you're not really a used-clothing dealer?"
"Well, actually - "
That's all Charlie got out. There was a crashing sound from straight ahead, glass and splintering wood. Then he saw the table go over in the next room and Minty Fresh screamed "Freeze!" as he leapt over the fallen table and headed toward them, gun in hand, oblivious, evidently, to the fact that he was seven feet tall and that the doorway, built in 1908, was only six feet eight inches high.