They'd been moved to one of the rooms off the foyer, Charlie couldn't tell which. It must have been a parlor for entertaining during its day, but it had been converted into a combination office and reception room: metal desks, a computer, some filing cabinets, and an array of older oak office chairs for working and waiting.
"I think she likes me," Charlie said.
"She has you taped to a chair," Minty Fresh said, pulling at the tape around his ankles with his free hand. The ice pack fell off his head and hit the floor with a loud thump.
"I didn't notice how attractive she was when I met her before. "
"Would you help me get free, please?" Minty said.
"Can't," Charlie said. "Tea. " He held up his cup.
Clicking noises by the door. They looked up as four little bipeds in silk and satin scampered into the room. One, who had the face of an iguana, the hands of a raccoon, and w
as dressed like a musketeer, big-feathered hat and all, drew a sword and poked Minty Fresh in the hand he was using to pull at the duct tape.
"Ow, dammit. Thing!"
"I don't think he wants you to try to get loose," Charlie said.
The iguana guy saluted Charlie with a flourish of his sword and pointed to the end of his snout with his free hand, as if to say, On the nose, buddy.
"So," Audrey said, entering the room carrying a tray with Minty's coffee, "I see you've met the squirrel people. "
"Squirrel people?" Charlie asked.
A little lady with a duck's face and reptilian hands wearing a purple satin evening gown curtsied to Charlie, who nodded back.
"That's what we call them," Audrey said. "Because the first few I made had squirrel faces and hands, but then I ran out of squirrel parts and they got more baroque. "
"They're not creatures of the Underworld?" Charlie said. "You made them?"
"Sort of," Audrey said. "Cream and sugar, Mr. Fresh?"
"Please," Minty said. "You make these monsters?"
All four of the little creatures turned to him at once and leaned back, as if to say, Hey, pal, who are you calling monsters.
"They're not monsters, Mr. Fresh. The squirrel people are as human as you are. "
"Yeah, except they have better fashion sense," Charlie said.
"I'm not always going to be taped to this chair, Asher," Minty said. "Woman, who or what the hell are you?"
"Be nice," Charlie said.
"I suppose I should explain," Audrey said.
"Ya think?" Minty said.
Audrey sat down on the floor, cross-legged, and the squirrel people gathered around her, to listen.
"Well, it's a little embarrassing, but I guess it started when I was a kid. I sort of had this affinity for dead things. "
"Like you liked to touch dead things?" asked Minty Fresh. "Get naked with them?"
"Would you please let the lady talk," Charlie said.
"Bitch is a freak," Minty said.