A Dirty Job (Grim Reaper 1)

"Huh," said the Death Merchants, again in chorus.

"You guys are so cute," Audrey gushed. "They're called the Morrigan. Raven women - personifications of death in the form of beautiful warrior women who can change into birds. There are three of them, all part of the same collective queen of the Underworld known as the Morrigan. "

Charlie leaned back from her so he could look her in the eye. "How do you know that?"

"I just

looked it up on the Internet. " Audrey climbed out of Charlie's lap, picked up the papers on the table, and began to read. "'The Morrigan consists of three distinct entities: Macha, who haunts the battlefield, and takes heads of warriors as tribute in battle - she is said to be able to heal a warrior from mortal wounds in the field, if his men have offered enough heads to her. The Celtic warriors called the severed heads Macha's acorns. She is considered the mother goddess of the three. Babd is rage, the passion of battle and killing - she was said to collect the seed of fallen warriors, and use its power to inspire a sexual frenzy for battle, a literal bloodlust. And Nemain, who is frenzy, was said to drive soldiers into battle with a howl so fierce that it could cause enemy soldiers to die of fright - her claws were venomous and the mere prick of one would kill a soldier, but she would fling the venom into the eyes of enemy soldiers to blind them. '"

"That's them," said Minty Fresh. "I saw venom come from the claws of the one on the BART. "

"Yeah," Charlie said, "and I think I remember Babd - the bloodlust one. That's them. I have to talk to Lily. I sent her to Berkeley to find out about them, but she came back with nothing. She must have not even looked. "

"Yeah, ask her if she's seeing anybody," Minty Fresh said. To Audrey: "Did it say how you kill them? What their weaknesses are?"

Audrey shook her head. "Just that warriors took dogs into battle to protect against the Morrigan. "

"Dogs," Charlie echoed. "That explains why my daughter got the hellhounds to protect her. I'm telling you, Fresh, we're going to be okay. Destiny is on our side. "

"Yeah, you said that. Call us a cab. "

"I wonder why of all the different gods and demons in the Underworld, the Celtic ones are here. "

"Maybe they're all here," Minty said. "I had a crazy Indian tell me once that I was the son of Anubis, the Egyptian jackal-headed god of the dead. "

"That's great!" Charlie said. "A jackal - that's a type of dog. You have natural abilities to battle the Morrigan, see. "

Minty looked at Audrey. "If you don't do something to disappoint him and mellow his ass out, I'm going to shoot him. "

"Oh yeah," Charlie said. "Can I still borrow one of your big guns?"

Minty unfolded to his feet. "I'm going outside to call a cab and wait, Charlie. If you're coming, you better start saying good-bye now, because I'm leaving when it gets here. "

"Swell," Charlie said, looking adoringly at Audrey. "I think we're safe in the daylight anyway. "

"Monk shagger," Minty growled as he ducked under the doorway.

Auntie Cassie let Charlie into their small home in the Marina district and Sophie called off the greeting hump of devil dogs almost as soon as it started.

"Daddy!"

Charlie swept Sophie up in his arms and squeezed her until she started to change color; then, when Jane came out of the kitchen, he grabbed her in his other arm and hugged her as well.

"Uh, let go," Jane said, pushing him away. "You smell like incense. "

"Oh, Jane, I can't believe it, she's so wonderful. "

"He got laid," Cassandra said.

"You got laid?" Jane said, kissing her brother on the cheek. "I'm so happy for you. Now let me go. "

"Daddy got laid," Sophie said to the hellhounds, who seemed very happy at hearing the news.

"No, not laid," Charlie said, and there was a collective sigh of disappointment.

"Well, yes, laid," and there was a collective sigh of relief, "but that's not the thing. The thing is she's wonderful. She's gorgeous, and kind, and sweet, and - "

"Charlie," Jane interrupted, "you called us and told us that there was some great danger and we had to go get Sophie and protect her, and you were going on a date?"