“How can having two parents in a stable relationship not be the right thing for a child?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Mitch. And I’m not going to do anything to block you from this baby. I want to stay with you. I want to build that life while we keep exploring things between us. But I’m not making any more major life decisions on a whim.”
Her words knocked the wind out of him, leaving an ache behind he didn’t know how to control. She’d said no. He’d told her he loved her and she didn’t say it back. She’d reduced his asking her to marry him to a whim. This was their life. The life of their child. How could she imagine this was just some kind of rash impulse?
Because he didn’t dare open his mouth right now, Mitch stayed silent, struggling to see this from her perspective. He’d learned Tess was a detail-oriented person. A planner to the nth degree. Their affair was the only thing she’d ever done that didn’t play to that, and while it led her to him—he didn’t doubt her when she said she didn’t regret it—it also led her to this unexpected pregnancy, and she was still struggling with that. So, okay, it made sense that she’d be gun-shy about adding to the list of mistakes by breaking pattern again.
But they weren’t a mistake, damn it! Their baby wasn’t a mistake. And he had no idea where to go from here. How was he supposed to go back to living with her, making all the preparations for this baby, plans for a life together, and not want to marry her? He wanted her as his wife. Wanted a proper family. He didn’t want to live with her wondering if any day she was going to bolt on him, taking what they’d made between them with her and leaving him with nothing. Again.
Tess looked down at him with wounded eyes. Because she was the one hurt by all of this? Mitch sucked in a breath and rose to his feet, searching for calm. He wasn’t about to do anything foolish like starting an argument with his pregnant girlfriend by demanding more explanation before heading to family dinner. Which, Christ, they still had to go to because he couldn’t very well call up and cancel on the grounds of a fractured heart, now could he? She needed to avoid any upset, so he would dig deep and find some freaking control.
She wasn’t closing the door. She wasn’t moving out or breaking up with him. She hadn’t said she loved him back, but that wasn’t the same as saying she felt nothing. She hadn’t denied that there was something between them. He just had to find a way to get her to trust in it. In him. And maybe the only thing that would do that was time. So even though it hurt like a bitch, the only thing he could do right now was accept her rejection and hope like hell she’d come around to the idea in the future.
Chapter 14
“We’re going to be late for dinner.” It was the only thing Mitch said before he turned and headed for the truck.
They were still going to family dinner? How was she supposed to put on a happy face after this? How was she supposed to act like everything was fine when things were clearly so very wrong between them? And yet, she didn’t want to go straight home with him either. What if he wanted to talk more about all this? She’d already used up almost every shred of control she had not to break down as he got down on one knee and ruined everything. So while dinner would be its own special hell, maybe it would be a stay of execution until she could find a way to hold her shit together.
Tension radiated between them in the cab of the truck. Tess knew she’d hurt him with her refusal. But she absolutely couldn’t say yes to this. His proposal had been exactly what she’d feared. All about the baby. Yes, he’d said he’d loved her. Last. As if it was an afterthought he needed to tack on bec
ause that’s simply what you said when you proposed to a woman. He probably even believed it on some level. But he didn’t love her. He loved the idea of her. Of this whole wife and kids and family picture he’d built in his head. A picture that was as alien to her as living on the moon. He wasn’t seeing her anymore. Ironic, since the entire appeal of an affair with him in the first place was that he had seen her, not a Peyton. Now she’d been lost again, under the umbrella of something else. All he could see was the mother of his child, not just Tess. Maybe she was doomed never to find anyone who could love her simply for her.
Mitch parked the truck behind the long row of vehicles in Cam and Norah’s driveway. For a long moment neither of them spoke, simply looking straight ahead.
“We can leave whenever you’re ready.” He still didn’t look at her.
“Okay.”
By the time they made it to the door, they’d both put on their everything’s fine faces. She stepped into the usual chaos of Campbells, saying her hellos and numbly giving and accepting hugs. Mitch didn’t stick close. They didn’t touch, and for once that was okay. There wouldn’t be any of the lingering glances that always threatened to give them away. He needed some space from her. She understood that. She could use a little from him, too. Maybe she’d get a room at The Babylon again for a while, until they’d come back to some sort of even keel.
Trey carried over a glass of wine. “We are celebrating! The purchase of the factory has officially gone through.”
Tess accepted the glass but didn’t actually drink. The scent of alcohol was sharp in her nose. “That’s great, Dad. I’ll get Brody out to the site next week to see whether he can work us into the schedule.”
“I know he’s booked up a while, but we can afford to wait a little for the sake of working with someone we trust.”
Waiting. Being here longer without any real action. With everything else weighing heavy on her heart, Tess wasn’t sure how long she could stand it. As everyone around her continued to chatter away about her brainchild, she could barely keep up with the conversation. Restless, uncertain, she spun the glass by the stem.
What was going to happen now? Was Mitch going to be okay accepting the status quo? She’d thought she handled the situation as well as she could. She didn’t want anything else to change. But what if she’d lost whatever chance she had with him by not being willing to meet him on his terms? The idea of it sent a flare of anger and frustration scorching through the hurt. How could he box her in like this? She’d had to face so much adjustment in such a short span of time. It wasn’t fair for him to throw this at her too and expect her to just jump at it. Didn’t he understand that?
Of course he didn’t. Because he hadn’t truly had time to know her. Not all the way.
“Okay everybody, dinner is ready,” Norah announced. “Head to the dining room.”
Tess automatically began moving down the hall. “What are we having?” She could talk about food. Food was normal. She desperately needed some normal.
“I found this recipe for pork chops with tomato curry I’ve been dying to try.”
“I ate tons of curry while I lived in London. It became a real favorite.”
“This one intrigued me.” Norah leaned over the table and lifted the lid on a large dish.
The pungent scent struck Tess like a blow. Her body jerked in defense as her gag reflex kicked in at Incredible Hulk strength. She barely managed to set down the wine before sprinting down the hall for the powder room. She couldn’t even get the door closed before she hit her knees and vomited up everything in her stomach.
Moments later familiar, gentle hands pulled back her hair. Mitch. Because of course. He efficiently wet a cloth at the sink with one hand as he continued to hold her hair through the second round—because her stomach was never satisfied with just one. It was a routine they’d perfected. But she just couldn’t take it right now. This man was the reason her life, her body had spun completely out of control. So as soon as she found the strength, she smacked his hand away. “For God’s sake, Mitch, I’m pregnant, not an invalid. Leave me be.”
The hand curled at her nape in a gesture of comfort froze and withdrew.