Ellie wiped a tear away and nodded her head.
Gunner slapped my back and headed toward his truck. I looked back toward the barn one more time, but Lex was gone. I walked to the truck and got in. Neither one of us said a word as we drove to the east pasture of the ranch. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to hurt someone.
Blake.
I wanted to hurt Blake. I let out a long sigh.
Gunner cleared his throat. “When we were younger, Ellie was in a car accident, and it was during a time when we weren’t together.”
I snapped my head over to Gunner. “Did y’all break up or something?”
He smiled and nodded his head. “It was a misunderstanding, but yes, we were broken up for a bit. Anyway, she was trying to get to me when she had the accident. I remember sitting by her bedside for hours and hours, just praying she would be okay. I’d never felt so helpless in my life.”
That was how I was feeling right now. I looked out the front window.
“I know you feel the same way, Will. I know you want to take the pain away. Hell, the whole thing away. I’m feeling the same way. The restraint it is taking for me not to beat the fuck out of that little asshole is something I’m working on every day.”
I smiled as I turned to look at Gunner.
He glanced at me and winked. “You’re lucky. At least you and Colt got to get a hit in on the little prick.”
I nodded my head and chuckled sarcastically. “It wasn’t enough, sir. I
wanted to kill him. I still want to, but…but I’m more worried about Lex. I can almost feel her pulling away from me, if that makes sense.”
Gunner parked his truck behind Jeff’s truck. “It makes sense.”
We both jumped out of the truck, and that was when I noticed my father, Jeff, Colt, and Luke standing against Colt’s truck.
I walked up to Jeff and shook his hand and then my father’s. Colt and Luke both walked up and gave me what the girls would call our bro hug.
“Boys, we wanted to talk to you about Alex—especially you, Will.” My father gave me a weak smile.
“What about, sir?” I asked.
Jeff cleared his throat as he looked at Luke. “Before you were born, Luke, your mother and I were expecting a baby. I know we’ve told you this along with the meaning behind your sister’s name before.”
Luke nodded his head. “Yes, sir, I remember.”
“What you don’t know is, that day, I walked away from your mother to go to another woman. It’s not what you think. It’s a long story, and honestly, it’s not one worth repeating. The point is, I left your mother…alone. I didn’t even know she was pregnant. She was upset, and she got on a horse to go riding with Ellie and Heather. Ari’s horse got spooked and threw her.”
Luke looked down and shook his head.
“By the time I found out what had happened, I rushed to the hospital. I still didn’t know your mother was pregnant. For all of about two minutes, I was happy as hell because she was okay. Then, she told me she lost the baby, and I was living in hell. I hadn’t been there for her, and to this day, I’ve never really forgiven myself for the pain and hurt I caused her.”
Jeff turned and looked at me. “You didn’t cause Alex’s pain, but I see on your face how you blame yourself. Will, you couldn’t have helped her any faster than you did.”
I nodded my head and wiped away a tear.
“Ari slowly began pulling away from me…from everyone. I let it happen because I didn’t know what else to do. I figured she needed time…maybe she needed to hate me for a bit…to blame me. I just didn’t know. Boys, Alex is going to pull away. I know how the three of you fiercely look after each of these girls. You’ll have to give Alex space though, but don’t let her push any of you away.”
“Dad, how do we know if we are pushing her or not?” Luke asked.
Jeff shook his head. “Son, I don’t know how to answer that.”
Colt kicked a rock. “How did you and Ari come back together?”