Prologue
High School
“Heather?”
I heard Ari say my name, but I was so numb that I couldn’t even turn around.
They left me.
I felt a hand on my shoulder as I closed my eyes. Why did I ever tell Ari about my secret place? It was the only spot I could escape to when I needed time to think.
“Heather, Ells and I are really worried, sweets. Please come back to my house with me. You can’t be all alone tonight. ”
I felt a chill run through my whole body. How am I going to sleep in that house, knowing they’ll never come back?
I tried to talk, but nothing would come out. I looked up toward Ari as tears ran down my face.
Ari dropped to her knees and grabbed my hands. She put her head on my lap as she started to cry. “I’m so sorry, sweets. God, you know I would do anything to bring back your parents. Anything. Just please tell me what to do, Heather. What can I do to help you?”
I smiled as I looked down at her beautiful dark brown hair. Ari was filled with so much spit and fire but also with so much love. I knew there wasn’t a damn thing she wouldn’t do for any one of us.
“Will y’all stay with me tonight? I can’t leave the house, but…I can’t stay there alone either,” I said as I began to stroke Ari’s hair.
She sat up and smiled at me. “A slumber party?”
I let out a small giggle. “Yeah, a slumber party. You, me, Amanda, and Ells. ”
Ari stood up and reached out her hand for mine.
“Will you give me just two more minutes?” I asked as I glanced back to the water.
“Sure, sweets. I’ll be waiting in my Jeep. I’ll go ahead and call Amanda and Ells, too,” Ari said as she rubbed my back before leaving me to my thoughts.
I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath, and held it for a few seconds. I would never forget the first time Daddy brought me to this gazebo. I’d felt like such a princess. He’d told me that this was our special place—a place where we could always come and feel each other’s presence, a place to feel safe when we were scared, lost, or lonely.
“Daddy…it isn’t working. I feel so lost…so completely and utterly lonely without you and Mom. I can’t do this. I can’t do this by myself. ”
A warm feeling captured my whole body as I thought of my father’s last words to me.
“Princess, you’ll never find anyone who will love you like your mother and I do. Remember to guard your heart, and don’t let just anyone in. To love strongly is a great thing. To be loved just as strongly in return…well, that is a miracle in itself. ”
I would never love anyone again like I loved my parents. No, I’ll guard my heart and never let anyone in, so I’ll never be hurt again.
I stood up and took one last look at the river. Closing my eyes, I decided right then that I wouldn’t cry anymore. It did no good. They were gone, and they were never coming back.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m sorry I couldn’t get there in time to be with you and Mommy one last time. I love you both. Good-bye. ”
I slowly turned and started to walk toward Ari’s Jeep.
All because I wanted to go on a stupid date. If I’d just gone with my parents to Marble Falls instead of insisting on meeting them there the next day, I would’ve been driving, and they would be alive today.
This is all my fault.
Sophomore Year of College
“Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? You’re gonna get in trouble,” Jeff said as we walked onto the football field for practice.
I let out a laugh. “Jeff, I’m careful. I’m not going to get a girl pregnant. Besides, I’m too damn young to settle down with just one girl. I wanna have fun. ”