He nodded with a weak smile. “Unfortunately, it’s all part of the job. ”
I leaned back against my car. Just then, I felt the baby move. I closed my eyes and put my hand on my stomach. He’s never even felt the baby move. I wouldn’t let him touch me. Oh, God, please help me.
“Amanda. Before Brad’s parents showed up, he was going to read this letter he wrote to you. He wanted to read it himself. Things got a little crazy though when his psycho mother showed up. ”
I let out a laugh. “Bryan, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to call her that. ”
He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. “Probably not, but in the years I’ve been doing this…Jesus, I’ve never seen such a controlling parent. Anyway, read the letter, Amanda. He also put a CD in there for you. ”
He leaned down and gave me a small hug. “Good-bye, Amanda. I hope to see you again soon. ”
“Good-bye, Bryan. Thank you for bringing this out to me,” I said as I tried to give him a smile.
I took a deep breath and got back into my car. I opened the envelope, and I pulled out the CD and put it into my CD player.
Vince Gill’s “I Still Believe in You” began playing, and I instantly started crying. Oh, Brad…oh my god, I love you so much. I slowly opened the letter and tried to read it through my tears.
My dearest Amanda,
No matter how many times I say I’m sorry, I know it will never change the fact that I hurt you. I can never take back the moment I started to use cocaine. When I’m lying in bed at night, I think about how I hurt you and how I left you for days to wonder why I acted the way I did, and all I want to do is just scream.
Bryan once asked me, “If you could go back in time and change one day, would you pick the day you started to use drugs?” I didn’t even think twice about it. I knew what day I would go back to. It would be the day you told my mother you wanted a small wedding outside by the water, and she laughed and said that was nonsense. I saw the hurt in your eyes. That was the moment I gave her control over our lives. The more I pushed you away, the emptier I felt inside. I thought drugs could help me, but I know now that you are the only thing in this world I need to get through anything.
All I can say is that I love you, Amanda. I’ve loved you ever since the first moment I laid my eyes on you. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. I promise you…I’ll do whatever you need me to do to make you happy again. I just want you and our baby. I want that life we dreamed of the night I asked you to marry me.
I love you, Amanda. I’ll love you until the day I die.
—Brad
I leaned my head back onto my seat and cried hysterically while I listened to the words of the song he’d picked out. When I felt the baby moving, my eyes snapped open.
I won’t give up on him. I won’t give up on us. He needs me now more than ever, and I need him.
I reached for my keys, turned off my car, and got out. After I made my way back into the rehab center, I saw Bryan talking to someone.
“Excuse me, Bryan?”
He looked at me and smiled.
“Can I please talk to my husband?”
“He’s taking a walk on the property. He’s probably down by the pond. It’s a secluded and serene area, and it’s one of his favorite places to sit. ”
“Will you show me?”
Bryan walked me outside and down a path. We talked about how Brad’s treatment was going.
“Amanda, I really think with the proper support system, Brad can make a full recovery. ”
I smiled, knowing that all we needed was each other and our friends to help us get through this.
Bryan came to a stop and pointed. When I looked over, Brad was sitting on a bench, staring out at the water.
“Thank you, Bryan,” I said as I began heading toward the love of my life.
We are worth fighting for. We can do this together—him, me, and the baby. I tried so hard not to start running.
I stopped right behind him and fought like hell to hold back the tears. “Brad. ”