“I had the same reaction! His tie was off, and he was massaging her bare feet. I watched his hand moving up and down her leg. I wanted to throw up. I pushed the door open more and said something about her being his reason for working late. Of course, it was déjà vu. I left, and he ran after me. I couldn’t believe I was so stupid, but at the same time, he was my entire life. My heart was shattered. Again. ”
“What happened, Mom?” Jefferson asked.
“He asked Angie to leave, and then we fought like we had never fought before. It just so happened that she was interning there, too, and he said he’d run into her, but nothing else had happened. The more he talked, the more upset I got. When I told him I was going to leave with Jeff and stay with my parents for a few days, he blew up. He grabbed me, and one thing led to another. Before I knew it, he had me on the sofa, and—”
I put my hand over my mouth. “He didn’t force you, did he?”
She had tears in her eyes. “No. I loved him so much. I would have done anything for him…anything to be with him. Later, I found out I was pregnant again. Things were never the same. He grew distant, but when you were born, Ellie, he seemed like he was happy again. It lasted for a few years. Then, one day, he came home, and Angie was with him. He told me he was leaving me for her, and the only reason he’d stayed as long as he did was because he felt guilty for ‘knocking me up with another baby. ’ Those were his words, not mine. ”
Oh Jesus. I think I’m going to be sick.
“Jesus H. Christ, Mom. He said that to you?” Jefferson shook his head.
She smiled and nodded. “When he left, my world just fell apart. I had no job, no money, and a broken heart. A friend of mine came over one night and talked me into going out. I got drunk and had so much fun,” she said with a gruff laugh. “It was the first time I didn’t actually think about him. Since the alcohol seemed to help me forget, I moved from beer to hard liquor. The only problem was that the hurt turned to anger. I started to blame you, Ellie, for everything. He would show up randomly while you kids were at school. He’d tell me how sorry he was, and then before I knew it, I was sleeping with him. ”
She shook her head and glanced up at me. “After you left, Ellie, I realized all the time I’d wasted being angry. I almost ruined your life and that caused me to wake up and see that I needed to be rescued from the hell I was living in. So, I decided I was checking into rehab and making a new life for myself. If I got myself clean, I knew the first thing I was going to do would be to ask forgiveness from both of you. ”
“Oh god, Mom. What a dirty, rotten bastard,” I said.
She laughed and agreed.
“When was the last time you saw him, Mom?” Jefferson asked.
“About a year ago. ” She smiled. “I was on a date, believe it or not!”
Jefferson and I both laughed.
“With my counselor. ” She held up her hands. “I know! I know!”
“How did
you feel when you saw him?” I asked.
“Free—like his hold on me was finally broken. ” She shook her head. “I need you both to know something though. I have no doubt in my mind that at one time, your father was just as much in love with me as I was with him. And I truly believe he loved you both. But now, I have someone in my life who is my prince. He literally rescued me. Just like in my story, Ellie. ”
We talked for a bit longer before making our way back to the house. Garrett invited my mother over to his house to meet Emma, Jack, and Grace and to spend more time with the kids. Since we were all going out, Luke and Alex were going to stay with them tonight.
As we sat in Emma’s kitchen, I watched as my mother talked with two of the most important women in my life, and a sense of calm came over me. My mom was holding Alex in her arms when she looked over at me and smiled. I got up and walked over to her.
“Grace, could you please hold Alex for a bit?” my mother asked as she turned toward Grace.
Then, she held out her arms for me, and I walked right into her embrace.
“I’m so sorry for all the pain and hurt I caused you,” she whispered into my ear.
“I love you, Mom. I really do love you. ” I pulled away from her and smiled.
She laughed while she wiped the tears away from my face as I did the same for her.
“I love you, too, Ellie Marie Mathews. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much, baby girl, for giving me a second chance. You have no idea how much I need you and your brother. ”
Jefferson came into the kitchen and took a good look at us before he walked up and wrapped his arms around us. “Mom…”
“Yes, Jeff?”
“I forgot to tell you. You’re gonna be a grandmother again. ”
Chapter Thirty-Four