“No, I’m not telling you to do that. ” Amanda tilted her head and looked at me.
“Holy hell, Ari! Please tell me you didn’t. ”
“I didn’t what?”
“Did you do something to get yourself pregnant?”
Some friend she is. “Bitch you know me better than that! Gesh, Amanda. I do have a small problem. ”
“And what is it?”
“I haven’t taken my birth control pills since Thursday. I just remembered this morning. ”
Amanda’s mouth dropped open. “What the hell, Ari!”
“I know, Amanda, I know. I’m making an appointment with my doctor for…” I paused as an idea hit me. I looked back over to where Rebecca and Jeff were sitting, and I saw Rececca’s iPhone sitting on the table. Perfect!
“Amanda! I need you to go over and say hi to them. ”
Amanda looked at me like I just asked her to take a piss in front of everyone at the restaurant.
“Excuse me? What did you just say?” she asked, clearly confused.
“Okay, listen. I need you to go over say hi, place your napkin on the table over her phone. Then, pick up the napkin with her phone when you leave. ”
“Oh. My. God. Are you fucking crazy, Ari? Ellie is getting back soon ‘cause I can’t handle you alone. ”
I glanced over to their table again and saw Jeff laughing. Yeah, he really hated this lunch. Bastard! I looked back at Amanda and sat up straighter.
“Amanda, I need her phone. I need to see if she has any appointments in there. I need to find out who her OB is. Please do this for me. Please?”
When Amanda peeked back at their table, she saw Jeff smiling at something the bitch was saying. Amanda shook her head and turned back to face me. Fire was burning in her eyes. God how I love my friends!
“Okay. I’m only doing this because somehow that witch is getting him to laugh, and he looks too goddamn comfortable sitting there with her. Bastard!”
Yep, I love my friends. I watched as Amanda went through the door, heading outside to their table. As soon as she walked up to their table Rebecca’s smile faded while Jeff sat up straighter and looked around. Yeah, you better look around at who’s watching you. Jerk.
Amanda put her napkin over Rebecca’s phone as she leaned over to say something to Jeff. They talked for about another minute before Amanda turned to Rebecca to say something to her. Rebecca smiled and nodded her head. Bending down a little, Amanda touched Rebecca’s stomach while she used her other hand to scoop up the napkin and phone.
Yes! I almost jumped up and shouted. I did a small fist pump and smiled at Amanda as she walked back in with a shit-eatin’ grin on her face. She avoided out table and went straight to the other side of the restaurant. Damn, she’s good!
I looked back toward Jeff and Rebecca’s table, and sure enough, he was watching Amanda walk back in. Turning, he looked at the bitch as she just smiled at him. I watched them talk while I waited for Amanda to get her ass back to the table. It sure did look like they were having a cozy little conversation. Then, their conversation seemed to shift. Jeff didn’t seem to be smiling or laughing, and Rebecca’s face turned white as a ghost. Shit! I wish I could hear what they are saying.
“Hey, sorry about that,” Amanda said, finally returning to the table.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph you bitch! You scared me half to death, Amanda,” I yelled, trying to catch my breath.
Amanda just shook her head and handed me the phone. “Here. I can’t believe that I just did that! Oh
man, it felt so damn good being so bad. I really should get into private investigation. I think I would kick ass at it. Wait until I tell Heather and Ellie what I did. They won’t believe it!”
“Well, expect both of them to give your ass a lecture. Okay, let’s see what this bitch has down on her calendar. ”
Amanda was trying to lean over the table to see what I was looking at and it was really annoying.
“What the hell, Mand? Do you mind?”
Amanda sat back down, and I started to look at Rebecca’s appointments.