I placed my hand on the side of her face and smiled at her. She was breathtaking; the sight of her standing in the rain, asking me if we could try for another baby, had me just about falling on my knees.
“I want nothing more than to have children with you, Ari. I’m ready, baby, whenever you are. ”
She gave me that smile, and my heart dropped to my stomach.
“Do you want a boy or a girl?” she asked me with a wink.
“I want a healthy baby, but I won’t argue if that healthy baby happens to be a boy,” I said with a small laugh.
“I don’t care if we have a boy or a girl. I’m thankful that I’m not a carrier of the Fragile X gene, but I’ll love whatever God decides to give us. Earlier, Jeff, when you were talking about the baby, you said she’ll always be with us. Do you think it was a girl?”
“I don’t know. The moment I found out you were carrying our baby, even just for those few seconds, I that I was so happy. Something told me it was a girl. It’s stupid, I know. I guess I’ve just always thought of the baby as a girl. ”
Ari smiled slightly and reached up to kiss me. When she pulled away, her smile grew.
“The second I found out I was pregnant, I knew it was a girl. I felt it. ”
“Well, here’s hoping we both feel the next one is a boy. I seriously want him to kick ass on the football field. ”
Ari laughed as we started to make our way to the house. When she turned and stared at me with that look, I knew what she was about to do.
She winked at me and started to run toward the house.
“Last one there has to muck out the stalls tomorrow!”
I smiled and took off after her while she laughed the whole way back to the house.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
ARI
I’d never felt so alive as I did right at this moment. Jeff’s touch alone seemed to snap me out of the funk I had been in for the last few months. After we were back in the house, we got into the shower, and he made love to me again. This was probably one of the best mornings of my life.
***
Looking myself in the mirror, I put my hand on my stomach. I smiled at the thought of Jeff referring to the baby as a girl. Our little girl was in heaven, and she would always being looking over us. She was our very own special angel. I knew that with all my heart.
“I will never forget you, baby girl…ever. ”
I heard Jeff walk into the house, arguing with Ellie. Those two…I swear. Rolling my eyes, I reached for my sweater since there was a cold front moving in. I knew my ass would be buying one if I didn’t bring one.
I walked into the kitchen, and Ellie and Jeff were in such a deep conversation that they didn’t even see me standing there.
“She’s in rehab and asking to see us both. What was I supposed to say, Jefferson? Grace and Jack were standing right there when I got the call. ”
“You should have told them to tell our mother to go to hell. ”
“Believe me, I wanted nothing more than to say that, but instead, I said that I would talk to you about it. ”
“I don’t care that she’s in rehab, Ells, or that part of her recovery process is to say she is sorry to us. She can fuck off for all I care. ”
I cleared my throat so that they both knew I was there.
When Ellie turned to face me, the smile that played across her face spoke volumes. Well, holy hell, I must have a just-got-laid look on my face. She glanced back at Jeff and smiled even bigger at him.
“Do you still want to do a girls’ day? I packed my gym stuff, so we could hit Lifetime Fitness; I just want one good workout in a real gym!” Ellie said.
“Fuck yeah, I still want a girls’ day! I have my stuff packed, and I’m ready to go. ”