She bit down on her lip and placed her hand on her stomach. “I don’t think I’m hungry anymore,” Courtney said as she went to try to get out of line.
I grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Oh no, Mrs. Moore. My son wants some brisket, and brisket he will get.”
Courtney smiled the biggest smile I’d ever seen on her face. “Son? What makes you think it’s a son?”
“Pesh, it’s my sperm. It’ll be a boy for sure,” I said as I looked at her like she had grown two heads.
Courtney placed her hands on her hips and swung her right hip out. “Well, it’s my egg. Maybe my egg only wanted to fornicate with female sperm.”
I shook my head. “No. The sperm decides the sex, and my sperm is dominated by sexy male cowboy genes.”
Layton and Whitley both turned and looked at us.
“Really? This is the conversation y’all are going to have in the line at Cooper’s?” Whitley said as she used her hand and gestured toward the people standing in line behind us.
I didn’t even bother to look to see how many people were behind us. I shrugged my shoulders and looked at Layton. “Dude, don’t you think you’re having a boy?”
Layton smiled. “Hell yeah, I’m having a boy. My sperm—” He looked at Whitley and quickly said, “I mean, I don’t care. As long as the baby is healthy, I’m happy.”
I just looked at him and shook my head. “Pussy,” I said.
Layton shot me the finger. Whitley hit Layton on the shoulder, and Courtney started laughing.
We sat down to eat, and I’d never seen two women eat so fast and so much in my life.
“Where did the sausage go?” Layton asked.
I pointed to Courtney. “Miss I Am Woman, Hear My Eggs Roar over here ate it all.”
Courtney gave me a look and said, “Ha-ha, Mr. My Sperm Is All Manly-and-Sexy Cowboy Sperm. Keep it up, and your cowboy sperm isn’t going to be having any fun tonight. Oh my God…I can’t believe I forgot to tell you, Whitley! Reed and I had sex in the family restroom at the restaurant where my brother got married. We did it right before the wedding.” Court jumped in her seat and pointed at Whitley. “Ha! We totally have y’all beat for public sex, and let me tell you it was—”
I saw a middle-aged woman stand up and walk over to our table.
She leaned over our table and said, “Excuse me?”
We all looked at her as Courtney smiled and said, “Yes?”
The lady pointed to Whitley and then Courtney. “Are you girls both pregnant?”
They both smiled and said, “Yes,” at the same time.
The lady nodded her head and said, “I see. Well, may God help your children.” She turned, walked back to her table, and sat down.
I glanced between Courtney and Whitley, and both had their mouths hanging open. I peeked over at Layton, and he was laughing uncontrollably.
Courtney turned and looked at me as she whispered, “What in the fuck did she mean by that?”
I started laughing as I shrugged my shoulders. I looked over at the lady as she and her family stood up to leave. She looked back at Courtney and shook her head.
Courtney snapped her head back and looked at Whitley. “Did she just insinuate that we are going to be bad mot
hers?”
Whitley slowly nodded her head. “I think so, but then again, you and Reed were talking about your eggs and his sperm and fornicating and how you had sex in a family restroom before your brother’s wedding. I’m gonna guess that one pushed her over the edge. No wonder she said something to you.”
“To me? Oh no, no, no! She pointed to both of us, sweetheart. She said you were going to be a bad mother, too. It was not just me.”
“No, I’m pretty sure she was directing it to you, Court,” Whitley said as she sat back and put her hands on her stomach. “I am full.”