I couldn’t control my tears. It was like three years of pushed down feelings were bubbling up to the surface all at once, breaking free. My father held me, and I cried until I had no tears left.
I’d admitted it. Now what was I going to do about it?
THREE WEEKS HAD passed since the Kentucky trip. Liza had done everything in her power to avoid me. I couldn’t blame her. Twice I’d almost kissed her, making both of us break promises to people we cared about.
I was attempting to repair a fence, and my built up frustrations were starting to peak. When the wire snapped, I picked up my hammer and yelled as I threw it as far as I could.
“Do you feel better?”
I whirled around to see Layton. His arms were crossed over his chest and he had a smirk on his face. I’d been waiting for him to talk to me about what had happened in Kentucky, but he had yet to bring it up.
I shook my head. “No, sir. Not at all. I’d like to beat the shit out of something.” Dropping my hands to my knees I took deep breaths. “No…everything is fucked up.”
Layton placed his hand on my back. “Let’s go for a ride.”
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I stood and watched him walk back to his truck. I slowly followed. It felt like I was walking in thick mud, fighting to take every step. When I got into the truck, I waited for him to start talking. When he began driving in silence, I decided to keep my mouth shut. The longer I could put off hearing how disappointed he was, the better.
Layton pulled up and parked. I looked around.
“You brought me to where you and Whitley got married?”
Layton smiled and nodded. “Sure did. Come on.”
He got out of the truck and made his way down the sidewalk. When we came to the gazebo, he stared at it.
He cleared his throat. “Sometimes, we want nothing more than to go back in time. Change a time or place that something happened. Change what happened altogether.”
I nodded, looking at the gazebo where I’d first told Liza I loved her. It was the night before leaving for college, and I’d given her the ring that she now wore around her neck. I knew she didn’t think I noticed, but I could see it under her shirt every day.
Layton walked up the steps, sat down, and looked at me. He gestured for me to sit across from him.
Oh shit. Here we go. I slowly made my way up and sat down. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes, but what kind of man would that make me?
“How is Jessica?”
Ugh. He was going in for the kill.
I swallowed. “She’s good. She’s um…she’s back in town. I would have gone to see her, but she asked me to give her a day to get rested up.”
Layton cocked his head at me. “Really? I would think she would be eager to see you.”
I shrugged. “I guess I didn’t think about it like that.”
“And you—you’re not eager to see her?”
I was about to answer, but I stopped myself. It hit me like a brick wall. “I have to tell her. It’s not fair to her. Not when I love Liza.”
The corner of Layton’s mouth rose in a slight smile. Like he was glad I’d figured it out on my own. I didn’t need him to beat it into me. I looked down to the ground and then back at him. “Did you know when you sent us to the McMurphys’?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
I stared at him. “I figured out that you’d given Liza the address to the bed and breakfast. Did you know we’d get lost?”
He let chuckled. “I know you two. I knew you’d argue about getting lost. I also knew where you were, because the truck wasn’t really a rental. It was a friend of mine’s truck, and he has a GPS tracker on it to keep track of his sixteen-year-old son.”
I laughed. “No shit. Mrs. Jenkins?”