My mouth felt like it was packed with cotton. The only thing I could do was stare at my sister. What in the hell was happening?
Then it all hit me.
Dad’s dead.
Closing my eyes, I dropped my head and went to lie back down on the floor. A pair of hands pulled me up and gave me a shake.
“Fuck this, man, this isn’t you. Get your ass into the shower now.” Nash pulled me down the hall, my sister right on his heels.
“Nash, Nash! Don’t do that to him.”
“Do what, Lily? Sober his ass up? Get his head clear so he can see how bad he’s fucked things up?”
“It’s too late,” I mumbled. “He’s dead and I can’t take back what I said.”
“What?” Lily said, trying to grab me before my best friend pushed me into the shower and turned on what I was pretty sure was the cold water.
“Fucking hell!” I shouted, coming alive when the frigid water hit my face.
“Get yourself washed up. You fucking stink!” Nash shouted. He grabbed Lily and pulled her out of the bathroom, her face stricken with pain.
When the door shut, I stood there, the water running over my fully clothed body. I closed my eyes, rested my hands on the tile wall and sighed.
My father was dead. I’d never be able to have that conversation with him. Know what he wanted to tell me. Was he sorry? Was it the one time? Were there other women?
Stripping out of my soaking wet clothes, I turned the water to hot and stood there for the longest time. My head was pounding, and the ache in my chest grew stronger by the second.
A light knock on the bathroom had me clearing my throat. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Okay.”
The soft voice was my sister’s.
What an asshole I was. I just left my mother and sister to deal with my father’s death while I drank myself into a fucking stupor.
Reaching for the water, I turned it off, grabbed a towel and dried myself off. Wrapping another towel around my body, I brushed my teeth and headed out into the kitchen. Nash and Lily were talking in hushed voices. I was still in my bare feet, so they didn’t hear me coming down the hall. When I saw Nash standing there, holding my sister in his arms, I felt another kick in the gut. That should be me consoling her, not my best friend.
“It’s going to all be okay, baby.”
He kissed the top of her head, and I pulled my brows together. Did he just call my sister baby?
Clearing my throat, they broke apart quickly.
“Interrupting something?” I asked, looking between the two of them.
“No!” Lily nearly shouted before rushing over to me. “Are you okay?”
“I guess. How’s Mom?”
My sister gave me an incredulous look. “How do you think she’s doing? Dad died. You took off and got drunk. She’s a mess. I’m a mess. And to top it off, you destroyed Charlie. What in the hell is wrong with you?”
I felt a stabbing pain in my chest; guilt ripped through my body like I’d never experienced before. Then her words settled into my brain.
“Charlie? What do you mean I destroyed Charlie?” I asked.
“I told you he was drunk out of his mind and wouldn’t remember,” Nash stated, his arms folded across his chest. The look he gave me was one of disappointment.
“What are you talking about?” I asked my sister.