I let out a gruff laugh. “No, Elizabeth. It’s nothing like that.” Anytime we were alone and just the two of us, I called her Elizabeth. Around others from the church, she was always Sister Elizabeth. Over the years we had grown very close. With just twelve years separating us, she was more like an older sibling to me. Almost a mother figure. “It’s always been about the feeling I get out of sex. The desire to have a man want me for something . . . anything. The attention feels . . . good.”
Motioning for me to sit on a bench, she softly replied, “Oh . . . I see.”
“I’m making myself sound like a slut. Forgive my language. I haven’t slept with that many men, but more than I should have at my age. I often wonder if I’m even capable of loving someone. If I let my heart open up to them, I have a fear they’re going to leave me like my father did.”
“Ever
yone is capable of loving, Paislie. Don’t let what your father did to you lead you down a road you’re not meant to travel.”
I thought back to this morning with Trey. “I did meet a guy last night. We had a . . . um . . . well, we had a good time together.” I felt the heat in my cheeks as Elizabeth covered her mouth to hide her smile.
“Do you like him?”
With a shrug of my shoulders I chewed on my lip. “I think I could possibly like him. He knows how to make me . . . well . . . gosh you know sometimes it would be so much easier if you weren’t a catholic nun!”
With a giggle, she bumped my arm. “I am still a woman though. I have the same desires as you do.”
“Oh, Elizabeth I’m pretty sure your desires are nothing like mine.”
We both laughed as she nodded her head. “Most likely not. Paislie, do me one favor.”
“Anything,” I said with a smile.
“Open your heart and let your father leaving you go. You’re going to meet someone who is going to love you and want to give you every bit of happiness he can.”
Wringing my hands together, I pushed out a deep breath. “I sure hope God will let me know when I meet him. So far he has given me no clues.”
Standing, she reached for my hand. “Trust me. He will. Now help me pick some of this squash. You can take some home with you.”
My heart always felt so much lighter after visiting with Elizabeth. If only I thought the words she spoke were true.
February
“STAY CLEAR OF THAT DEBRIS around turn four,” Dalton said as I focused on my line.
“Yep.”
“Number eighteen is two car lengths ahead,” Russ, my spotter said.
Gripping the steering wheel, I had four laps to try and pass the eighteen car to win the Daytona 500.
“Seventy-eight is coming up on your inside.”
“The fuck he is,” I said as I hit the gas more.
“We’ve only got three laps to go, Malcolm. Easy.”
“Easy? It’s the fucking Daytona 500, Dalton.”
“Where is he?” I yelled out to Russ.
“Lap traffic has slowed him down; looks like you were half a second faster on that last lap.”
Dalton calmly stated, “Keep doing what you’re doing, buddy. We’ll get him.”
The next lap I focused on catching up to the number eighteen car.
“Bumper. Door. Door. Bumper. Clear! You cleared the eighteen,” Russ shouted as I ran the line that had been working for me all day.