Her eyes glassed over as she softly spoke. “You might as well have because that’s how you made me feel.”
My breathing slowed and my bod
y felt heavy. “I never meant to make you feel like that. I was angry and I’m so sorry I took it out on you. Especially with something you confided in me with. I have no room to judge anything you’ve done. Please forgive me, Paislie. Please.”
She cleared her throat and sat up straighter. “It’s fine, Malcolm. Let’s move on and concentrate on your recovery. I’ll stay for as long as it takes for you to find another physical therapist you like. We’ll figure out why you haven’t liked the others you had and find the right fit for you.”
My stomach dropped. “I don’t want another physical therapist. I want you.”
Her eyes lit up for a quick moment before she looked away. “This is crazy for you to be paying me this much. You’re very capable of going into an office for therapy. I’ve already looked into it and there are plenty of very good therapists in the Waco area.”
I wasn’t sure if I should be angry or upset that she didn’t want to help me. Not uttering a word, Paislie’s eyes grew wider. “Malcolm! Don’t you see how insane this is?”
Pushing my plate back, I slowly stood. “I’ll show you to your room. There is a copy of my medical records there for you to look over. If you need anything, the housekeeper’s name is Clarisse. It’s her day off today, so I’ll introduce you to her tomorrow.”
She looked at me like I had lost my goddamn mind. Maybe I had. Who the hell knew?
Paislie slowly stood and followed me down a hall. The guest bedroom was on the opposite side of the house from the master. It was probably bigger than her apartment.
“If you want your cat to roam around the whole house, that’s fine. Janet wasn’t sure so she just had everything set up for her in your bathroom.”
We got to the end of the hall and I opened the door. Paislie’s eyes widened as she took a step inside and mumbled something under her breath.
“My goodness. This is a bedroom?”
“It’s the guest bedroom. My parents usually take this room when they’re here. The bathroom is to your left. If you need anything from the store, just let me or Clarisse know. Janet and her husband will be leaving for Mexico for two weeks, but normally they stay in the smaller guest house down from the main house.”
Paislie spun around and flashed me a huge smile. “You sent them to Mexico?”
I grinned and said, “Well, she’s earned it for putting up with my grumpy ass for the last two months.”
She let out a soft chuckle.
“I’ll leave you alone to get settled.”
“Wait! What am I supposed to do when we’re not doing therapy?”
My dick jumped at the things I wanted to do with her, yet the guilt for feeling the way I was feeling was tearing me up inside. With a dull smile, I said, “Use your imagination. As long as you’re here, everything is yours to use.”
Paislie pinched her eyebrows together as she stared at me with a tense expression.
A part of me wished I hadn’t even called to have her come out. Seeing her did insane things to me. After talking to Janet, I was even more confused about my feelings, especially my feelings for Casey and that pissed me off. The last thing I wanted to do was take it out on Paislie again.
Turning, I made my way out of her room and shut the door behind me as I let out the breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding.
I may have just made the biggest mistake of my life by having her here.
THE POUNDING OF THE GROUND under my feet felt good. It cleared my mind and that was what I needed. After my first therapy session with Malcolm this morning, I was more confused than ever. Yesterday, I’d spent almost two hours going over all of his medical information and coming up with a treatment plan.
I came to a stop and leaned over, placing my hands on my knees as I sucked in deep breaths. I could smell the spring flowers in the crisp cool air. Something about the air out here made me feel alive. Closing my eyes, all I could see was how scared Malcolm’s eyes were this morning.
“Fuck!” I shouted.
The compound fracture had damaged some of Malcolm’s nerves. He’d be able to fully walk again, I just wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get clearance to get behind the wheel and race. Not one single person had bothered to tell him how extensive the nerve damage was.
Then there was his knee. That was a whole other beast of its own.
Standing, I drew my arms up over my head and inhaled deeply. Right now I needed to get him walking and build up the strength in his leg. The whole time we were together this morning he didn’t utter a single word to me. I cut the session short only because I couldn’t take the silence anymore.