Predestined Hearts

Tears filled his eyes as he leaned down and kissed me again.

“Devlin, I need for Sophia to push again. Just a couple more pushes and the baby will be here.”

Taking my hand in his, Devlin looked into my eyes. “Sophia, can you do this for me, sweetheart? Will you push once more?”

Nodding my head, I leaned forward and pushed with all my might. Having Devlin by my side made all the difference in the world. He had been with me through so much; I knew he had to be here for this as well. “One more push!” The doctor called out.

Devlin helped me sit up as I gave one more push. Dropping back onto the bed, I called out. “I’m so tired.”

The sounds of our baby’s cry filled the air. I began crying as Devlin placed his hands on my face and turned my eyes to his. “Do you hear that my sweet Sophia? Do you hear our baby’s cries?” Nodding my head, I watched as tears made their way down my husband’s face. “Oh, Sophia, you have just made me the happiest man in the world.”

My heart was about to burst open. The words I longed to hear Devlin say, he had just spoken. The doctor looked up and said, “It’s a girl. A very healthy baby girl.”

Placing my hand over my mouth, I tried to keep my sobs within.

A girl.

The midwife had wrapped our daughter up in a blanket and placed her in my arms. Grinning like a fool, I could not stop crying. Tipping my head back, I gazed upon Devlin. “Thank you for loving me.”

Devlin had been staring at our daughter when his eyes moved to mine. “Thank you, Sophia, for giving me a piece of your heart.” Kissing me gently on the lips he turned and kissed our daughter’s cheek.

Life moves on.

TEARS STREAMED DOWN my face as I tried to gain control over the emotional rollercoaster I was on. Several times, Gael had paused and I’d silently urged him to continue on while he read. But this time, Gael had stopped. There was more. There had to be more.

“Why’d you stop reading? Gael don’t stop. I’m fine. I promise.”

Sitting up, he cradled my face in my hands. “There isn’t anymore, Ashlin. That’s all there is.”

“What? No!” Desperately, I grabbed the journal from Gael. There were only blank pages. I kept thumbing through them, hoping ink would appear. “Gael, he promised! He promised! Love didn’t win!”

I could barely breathe and felt a heavy knot form in the pit of my stomach. Thinking about the enormity of what Sophia had experienced, Devlin had sacrificed, and all of the loss had me feeling hollow.

Calmly, Gael spoke and put his hands back on my face, “Ashlin, sweetheart. Love did win.” I shook my head in protest. “Love did win, sweetheart. Danny and Sophia had that once in a lifetime love. Devlin was there for Sophia and opened her heart back up to love. Sophia loved Devlin, Ashlin. He was able to give her the baby she lost—the little girl she dreamed about. It wasn’t Daniel’s, but she knew the joy of motherhood.”

Staggeringly, I took in breaths, trying to calm myself. Through this journey, part of me felt like Sophia and I were on parallel paths in some instances. My nerves settled as Gael continued to stroke my cheeks with his thumb. “I’m so sorry, I got that upset. I feel connected to them. It was as if the love of Daniel and Sophia leapt off the pages. The kind of love that stories are made of.”

The logs shifted in the fireplace, jolting my eyes from Gael’s face temporarily. I got lost in the crackling sound.

After a few minutes, Gael shifted my focus back to him. He continued to speak soothing the raw nerve that was exposed, “And that love still lives in both of us. They loved. Ashlin, if I had the choice of having you for one day only or never having known you, because of the loss I would feel without you, do you know what I would choose?” I shook my head, then he continued. “I’d choose to have you one day and be able to feel the love we shared for the rest of my days. Life without love is no life. To chance your life on love is everything.”

I closed my eyes and let his word

s absorb. When I opened them, Gael watched me closely. “I love you, Ashlin. We are not Daniel and Sophia. In the few short months they had, they loved a lifetime’s worth.”

Nodding, I knew his words were true, but my heart still felt slain for them, knowing what it was like to lose everyone you loved. “Promise me, Gael. Promise me that you won’t break my heart. You don’t only have a piece, but the whole thing.”

Gently, his lips brushed mine. “I promise, Ashlin. I will guard it with every fiber of my being. You’ve had mine all along and I know it’s safe with you.”

“Please, make love to me. I need to feel you.”

Laying me back on the white rug, Gael adored my body, showing me how true our love was.

Taking a few minutes to myself before we left for Gael’s parents’ annual clambake they had the Sunday after Thanksgiving, I stared out into the ocean. Gael’s family and friends would be there tonight. I’d met some at the restaurant and they all seemed like normal, down to earth people. Instead of stuffy arrogant asses like Harris’ friends, I now surrounded myself with people who were compassionate, caring, and normal. Nerves hummed underneath the surface. This morning, I’d heard Gael talking about the firework show from the other room with his mom. It was all part of the big tradition they did every year. Before the show started, I planned on excusing myself and going to the bathroom. I’d probably curl up in the corner with my headphones and think of anything but the sound.

Bang!

An involuntary shudder came over me and I closed my eyes trying to drown out the sound of the gun when my father shot himself. He’d killed himself while someone ignited fireworks and the noise of the round going off would be forever linked together. Needless to say, I was not a fan of the Fourth of July. I hated all the fireworks and would turn my television up loud to try and drown out the sound.