“Yeah, why is that? You never gave me that hard alpha shtick—even the hard shifter shtick—like Kingsley and all his people do. Like you do to most of the people in your bar.”
He was quiet for a long while. “Probably because I knew, even then.”
“Knew what?”
His gaze was heavy on me. “I haven’t wanted to smile and laugh for…so long. Since I met Destiny, but before that, too. The stigma of my father has always hung over me. The bad apple. The black sheep. I’ve always feared that I’d become the thing my mother dreaded. Even when I was a kid, I was too rough with play, too aggressive. At one point, I thought power was the only answer for taming my beast. After I left home, I decided it was solitude.
“Then you walked in the door that day, a Jane in a magical world, starting over and facing an uncertain future with a broken smile… It touched me. It blew something sweet and soft into a hard, desolate place. Your fresh take on the world, your courage, your insight—it revived me. I think I knew then that I’d care for you more than I’ve ever cared for anyone. That I’d want to protect you in a way that felt wholesome and good. That felt—feels—like what I’m designed for. You make my world make sense. I never knew what peace and happiness would feel like, until you.”
I blinked away tears, not trusting myself to speak, my middle throbbing.
Silence passed between us and we sipped our wine. Through the link he was peaceful, content in the moment.
“Having a man cook for me has always been a dream of mine,” I murmured. “You pulled it off to perfection.”
“Thank you. And I knew that, about it being your dream.”
“Oh? I don’t recall mentioning it.”
“You didn’t. Jimmy did, before he left.”
Jimmy approved of Austin. He must’ve, if he’d told him that. He’d wanted to help Austin woo me.
My heart warmed in an unexpected way, as if it beat in tandem with another. With Austin’s. I blinked away tears. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was express myself to him. With him. I didn’t want words. I wanted action.
“What does this view look like in the morning?” I asked quietly.
“Would you like to stay and see?”
“Yes, please.”
He set his glass down and rose. I expected another flurry of nerves, but deep, throbbing desire pooled inside me instead. He put out a hand, and I took it, letting him pull me to him. We left our glasses and entered the room, Austin closing the glass door behind us.
I reached up for him, unable to wait any longer. His lips found mine, and he backed me toward the bed.
I worked at his first button and he pulled back, his hands on my shoulders, watching me as I tugged the button free. The moment slowed, the tone turning languid instead of urgent.
I pulled the second button free, and our gazes locked, my heart throbbing with his.
“We’ve started the slide, haven’t we?” I whispered, pulling the third button free, spreading his shirt and revealing his delicious, muscled chest. “That’s what your brother was getting at.”
“Yes,” Austin said softly, running his thumb across my bottom lip. I leaned forward and took it into my mouth, sucking on it. “It started a while ago for me, I think. It’s been so slow, so gradual that I didn’t notice at first. I thought it was attraction and deepening feelings, not this. Not when I’d sworn myself to solitude.”
“I’m just starting to feel…weird, though,” I said, the last button opened. I pulled his shirt out of his pants and gently pushed it off his large shoulders. “The thing with Kace was the first time I really noticed.”
“It is not unusual for one to feel it before the other. Usually that halts things. Or slows it. Maybe that’s why it was so gradual for me, I don’t know. I don’t think anyone really knows until it happens to them.”
He closed his eyes and breathed out when I ran my palms over his pecs and then his shoulders, leaning forward to kiss his skin.
“It worries me, Austin. I’ve just promised the rest of my life to Ivy House. I’m not ready for…a mate. For mating…”
“We’ll take it slow.”
My hand on the back of his neck, I pushed his lips down to mine, saying one thing, desperate for another.
He sucked in my bottom lip before opening his mouth, eliciting the same response from me. He swirled his tongue with mine before pulling back to suck on my lips again.
I let my fingertips glide down between us and circle his belt and buckle. Desperation overcame me, hard and heavy, yanking a moan from my lips. I pulled at his belt, fevered, incensed.
Mine.
I ripped open the button and pushed his jeans away, his boxers with them. I’d seen his hard length many times by now, but this was the first time I’d gripped it. One stroke, and the wildness in me calmed down. Looking into his heavily lidded eyes, with his hands squeezing my shoulders and his precious commodity in my hands, I felt…settled.