Disgrace

Because that was what family did—showed up even on the dark days.

Luckily, that afternoon was a day filled with only light.

“Can I have a word with my son, Alex?” Dad asked. Alex nodded and left us alone for a minute. Dad stuffed his hands into his pockets and gave me a small grin. “You look great.”

“You don’t look half bad yourself.”

“Look, Jackson…I know I’ve let you down over the years and I’m not good with words, but I want you to know that you are my world. I haven’t been a good man. I’ve made mistake after mistake, but the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, is you. I’m thankful each day that you became a better man than I could’ve ever been. I’m thankful that you hold within you the best parts of your mother and me. You are more than we could’ve ever wished for. I love you, son.”

Those words…

Those damn words…

“Don’t be a punk and cry,” he joked, wiping at his own eyes.

“Sorry. My bad.” I pulled him into a hug. “I love you too, Dad.”

As we separated, he wiped his eyes again and sniffled a bit. “Oh, one more thing. Your mother had this thing that she did the week you were born. She wrote you letters for special occasions. She wrote you a letter that she, um, wanted to give to you on your wedding day. I mean, she wrote you other letters, too. For your sixteenth birthday, for your graduation, and crap, but I messed up and missed those occasions.” He frowned, his guilt taking over. Being sober for him was hard at times. It meant facing all the missteps he’d taken in his past.

“It’s fine, Dad.”

“It’s not; it’s not at all. But I’ll give you those other letters on another day. Today, you get this one.” He reached into his pocket and pulled it out. Then he reached into his other pocket and pulled out a small box. “Plus, rumor has it that you’re supposed to give your bride a gift. So, if you don’t have one already, I figured this might work.”

He opened the box.

My eyes watered over more. “Mom’s ring?”

“Yeah. I figured Grace might appreciate it.”

“She will. More than words, she will. Thank you, Dad.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll let you read the note, and I guess I’ll see you at the ceremony.” He hugged me once more, and then started toward the door before pausing. “You know what? That Grace girl ain’t so bad.” He smirked a bit and shrugged his shoulders. “Even though she’s a Harris.”

“Yeah.” I laughed. “She’s growing on me, too.”

“Treat her well.” He nodded once. “For as long as you both live, you treat her well.”

He left the room, and I took a deep breath as I opened the letter that Ma left for me.

My Sweet Jackson,

Today you swear your life to a woman that I hope is everything and more to you. You will say, “I do” to her as she says the same to you. You will make promises of forever. So, I thought I’d tell you a few things about how to love a woman to make it easier for you.

Be easy with one another’s hearts. Some days she’ll wake up angry with no warning. Hold her tight on those days. Other times, she’ll wake crying. Hold her tighter on those ones. Remember to laugh out loud, the kind of laughter when it becomes hard to breathe. Hold her hand, even when she doesn’t want you to. Tell her she’s beautiful when she’s sick.

Dance together.

Miss her when she’s gone.

Tell her you love her every day.

Every. Single. Day.

Love her, but let her be free to soar, too.

Support her dreams as she supports yours.

Watch the sunrise and love the sunsets.

Always know that I’m here for you whenever you need your mother. I was the first woman to have the honor of loving you, and even when I’m gone, when the sun fades and the stars sparkle bright overhead, remember my love for you.

This life is beautiful because you are here, son.

Enjoy this moment. Enjoy this day. This is your happily ever after.

I love you, Jackson.

Always and always.

-Mom

“Can I interrupt for a minute?”

I turned to see Samuel standing there in his suit and tie. I nodded him into the room, and he walked in my direction.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

“Yes, but ready.”

“Good.” He grimaced for a second, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Listen, Jackson… I’ve been trying to figure out what to say to you today, or how to approach you, but words are slipping from me. So I’m just going to say congratulations. Thank you for treating my daughter the way that you do.”

“She’s my best friend,” I told him.

“And you are hers.” His eyes glassed over, and he nodded once. “Don’t let that fade.”