Eastern Lights (Compass 2)

“I don’t know…”

“I get it. You’re hurt. Be hurt. But then, give him another chance.”

“It’s not that easy, Damian.”

“It has to be. Because this is personal to me.”

“How so?”

He clasped his hands together and leaned forward. “You saved me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You saved my life. Almost three years ago now, I was at my lowest point. I was thinking about ending my life. I felt lost and alone. I had nobody who gave a shit about me, and I sure as fuck didn’t give a fuck about myself, so I figured what was the point. Then out of nowhere this goofy-ass guy with bad jokes came into my life and kept hammering at me to open up to him. He wouldn’t let up, either. He kept pushing me with his sunshine and corny persona to get me to let him in. After all that work, I asked him why it was so important to him. He told me he met Little Red Riding Hood, and she changed his life for the better.

“He wanted to be able to do the same for someone else. If you never existed…if you never changed Connor’s life, he would’ve never changed mine. I wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for you, Aaliyah. You brought someone into my life who believed that my life was worth living. Someone who gave me a shot to make something of myself when the rest of the world ignored me. So, understand me when I say this is personal to me.”

His words soaked deep into my soul. I hardly could believe what he was sharing with me, but then again, I could because that was the type of person Connor was—he helped people. Still, I was scared of letting him back in.

“Have you ever been in love, Damian?”

“No,” he quickly replied. “But I’d be damned if I ran from it when it came to me. People like us don’t get the happy beginnings, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get the happy endings.”

I knew Damian coming to speak to me was a big deal. Damian didn’t often speak to anyone. Every time I crossed paths with him, he only offered up a few almost smiles here and there before he’d go back to minding his own business and living solely in his thoughts.

“Aaliyah,” Damian said, stepping a bit closer to me. “Don’t do this.”

Even though he looked so tough all the time, so hard and cold, his eyes currently were washed over with empathy. With care. Every piece of him in that moment felt like a warmth I hadn’t seen in a very long time.

“Don’t do what?”

“Run away from something good because you’re afraid that someday that person will run away first. Connor’s not a runner. Yeah, he fucked up and hesitated, but fuck, he’s human. He spent his whole childhood thinking his mother was going to die. Then when he found out you were sick he fell into the old thought process that had haunted him for so many years. He’s scared, Aaliyah. The guy is fucking terrified of losing you, but he wasn’t going to run. He just stumbled a little.”

“I know how hard it is for him, Damian. Truly. I get it. That’s why I can’t do this to him.”

He looked at me confused. “What?”

“I’m dying, Damian. I know I don’t have long, and I don’t want to put him through that. I don’t want him to have to watch me suffer, because it will break his heart.”

“You’re sitting here worrying about his heart breaking when yours is literally falling apart. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. He should be here.”

“I can’t do that to him…I’m sorry, Damian. I can’t have him watch me die.”

Damian’s brows knitted as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he sat down in a chair.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Sitting.”

“Why?”

“So you aren’t alone.”

“Dam—”

“I get it. You want to protect him from hurting. It’s noble. Stupid as fuck if you ask me, but noble. But that doesn’t mean you deserve to be alone. If you’re dying, you’re dying. It’s shitty and it’s scary and fucked-up because I could name a million people who deserve to die more than you do. The world is a messed-up place, and it shits on good people. I’m sorry it’s doing this to you, Aaliyah, but you’re not going to do this shit alone. All right? I’m going to sit here and,” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a comic book. “I’m going to read you comics because that’s what Connor would do.”

“Damian. You don’t have to stay here. Really. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not, and that’s okay. I don’t need you to be fine. I just need you to let me read to you right now, so you’re not alone.”