Neither (The Noctalis Chronicles 3)

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Be so human. It seems very easy for you.”

“It isn't. I've had decades of practice. I also watch a lot of television. That helps.”

“Ava and I watch movies quite a bit. I have not picked up much that is useful.”

“Your smile isn't too bad.”

“Thank you.” She goes to Ava's bookshelf and browses the titles. “You're probably wondering why I am here.” She drops her cute American accent and speaks English with her Greek accent.

“More or less.”

“I wanted to ask you about her. About Di. It has been so long since I saw her. I am not a part of her life anymore. I know it is crazy, but I miss her. I did not know how much until I thought of her. I put her deep in a part of my mind and tried not to think about it.”

“I understand.” Viktor and Ivan did the opposite, thinking only about the love they lost.

“I've had so many years to think about what to say to her, and I still do not know.”

I understood that as well. I thought about what I would say to my family, if I ever saw them again. Even after they died, I would think about a world in which we would see one another again. I also think about Ava.

“Words are hard to find, even when you have a thousand years to try and think of what to say,” I say.

“Is she very angry?” She knew the answer.

“Yes. She has become bitter with time. It is not your fault. We are all responsible for our own actions. She made her decisions.”

“Do you think it will work?” She is unsure, however confident she tries to appear in front of the humans.

“It depends on Di. I cannot say. She is my mother, but I feel as if I know so little about her.”

“She's like that. You never know where you stand.”

“Yes.”

Ava moves in her sleep, gripping the pillow. I wait for her to wake up, but she says my name and goes back to sleep.

“I am sorry about your bind. It seems Di wanted to replicate her own noctalis upbringing by taking out her anger at Akash for making her love. It seems that she has decided love is the best weapon.”

“And control.” I wait. Clearly, she has more to say.

“I am sorry to talk so much. Normally I have my brothers and sisters to converse with.”

“It is fine,” I say, waiting for her to continue.

“I want to help you. I want to mend things with Di. I want this to be a happy ending.”

“I want that, too.” I touch Ava's face.

“I'm scared. I know I shouldn't admit that, that noctali don't get scared. But I am.”

I hadn't known fear until I met Ava. Even before I Claimed her, I was so afraid I would kill her or lose her, but I didn't understand what the emotion was. You never know fear until you had something to lose.

“I am scared, too.”

Ava

Helena pops out of Tex's car Monday morning, bright as a ray of sunshine. I'm sure she was just that perky in life.

“Hey! I was wondering, and Tex and I have been talking, and we thought it would be totally awesome if I came to school with you!” Her energy is so intense I almost can't look at her.

“I don't think that's a good idea.”

Despite the fact that she will fit in really well, she is only here for a week, and that will look crazy suspicious, especially if she is hanging out with us. Small town gossips would glom onto that like white on rice. I have enough crap to deal with now that everyone knows about my mother's diagnosis. At least I told Jamie about that before he found out from someone else. We should have told him when we went to the movies. Now we have even more secrets piled on top of secrets. One of them is bound to slip out.

“I agree,” Peter says.

He's been very touchy-feely and I'm loving it. It's like now that we have a plan and the end is in sight, he has more confidence that this can be fixed. The only thing we have to do is figure out if we are going to Di, or if we wait for her to come to us. I'm all for finding her and getting it done, but Helena seems reluctant and she's the one who holds the keys to the castle, so we're not going to push her.

I'm so afraid she's going to back out, because really, she has no reason to help us. Rasha and Kamir are nowhere to be found, but that doesn't surprise me. They don't seem like they'd be interested in seeing how the American teenager functions, and Helena said they were going home soon anyway. I'm still surprised that they came all this way to bring us Helena.

I catch Jamie's eye across the parking lot. There is a dazed look on his face, as if he's been hit over the head with something. I've never seen that look on his face before, so I'm instantly freaking out. God, I hope it's not something with Cassie or the baby. Maybe now isn't a good time to drop any secrets on him.

“Hey, James. What's up?”

“Not a whole lot. Shouldn't you be in school?” he says to Viktor and Peter.

“They have a teacher's workshop day, so they came with us,” I say, thinking on my feet. “And this is their cousin, Helena. She's just visiting.” At least we can introduce her and not pretend that she is something we are trying to hide.

“Hey, it's nice to meet you,” Helena says, sticking out her hand. Jamie looks at it, still dazed, and it takes him a second to shake it. Peter, Viktor and Helena all share a look that I don't understand. It's almost too quick, but I catch it. Peter squeezes my hand to tell me something. Dude, I can't read your mind.

“Nice to meet you, too. Whereabouts are you from?”

“New York, too.”

Tex and Helena have obviously made up another backstory. I am going to have to start writing these things down so I can keep track. One of these days I'm going to forget and then I'll be in trouble. Tex and I have discussed telling Jamie again, but with Helena around and the other stuff going on, it doesn’t feel like the right week. Really, we are putting it off and making excuses. Neither of us can imagine how he's going to react.

“You okay, Jamie?” I say.

“Yeah, I just... had an interesting weekend.”

“Did you do anything fun? I texted you a couple of times. I thought we could do a Miller's date with all of us soon.” I fight the urge to wave my hand in front of his face.

“Yeah, sorry. I was just... busy.” I stare at him, but he won't look at me. There's an uncomfortable silence as he tugs on his ear.

“What's her name?” Helena says.

“What?” Jamie looks at her as if she hasn't been standing there the whole time.