Never Kiss A Stranger

“I didn’t expect one, Dad,” I turn to face him, “I deserve one.”

He blinks at me.

“Nice party. How much did this one set you back? You know we need money for these projects, right? Maybe if you just did something you could be proud of in your whole fucking life.” I walk away, unable to face him a second longer, the light of the moon leading my way closer to the lapping waves. I snub out the cigar and place it next to my shoes. Maybe the soft sand between my toes will help.

“I was looking for you.” Kiki walks up behind me, kicking off her shoes. “Is everything ok?”

I take in a deep breath of the cool air and let it out smoothly. “Yeah, just my father.” I turn to face her as she dips her toes into the water. “It’s like this party for example, he can fund this but can’t pay back the loan Bearded Goat gave him.”

“I know.”

“Like I don’t know where his head’s at.” I glance over my shoulder at the lights of the party, not stopping anytime soon. “It’s like his priorities are so twisted up.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

I stuff my hands in my pockets. “Yeah, Urban and I tried. He doesn’t care.”

“Well, you have Henry. So, everything will work out.”

“Yeah, thank god we have Henry.”

Kiki’s eyes grow serious and I remove a hand from my pocket to swipe back a strand of brown hair floating across her face. I tuck it behind her ear and then continue a path down her cheek. So fucking soft.

“I need to tell you something, Ellis.”

“Are you alright?”

She shakes her head, pushing my hand away from her face. “No, listen. I think you’re a great person,” Oh no. “but I can’t do this. There’s no future for us. And even if there was, I can’t be with you.”

This is out of nowhere. “I thought we were getting along so well.”

“I’m so sorry, Ellis.” And she rushes away from me, back to the party.

And don’t worry, I rush right after her once I’ve grabbed my shoes. I’m not a fucking idiot.

The minute I get back to the party it’s loud, chaotic, too many bright lights and flashing colors, and people everywhere, blocking my view. I push a stranger out of my way, apologizing under my breath as I push another. The noise level has amped up, and Kiki is nowhere to be seen. I scan the crowd, making my way through them best I can as I try to find her.

Everything had been like a dream. Was it all one-sided? I don’t think so, no I know so. It’s real. And Kiki feels it too.

I spot Poppi and head in her direction. “Have you seen Kiki?”

She looks lost and shakes her head. “I think she just left. Is everything ok?”

“No, it isn’t.” And I run away. After the woman I know for sure I’ve fallen for.

TWENTY-FIVE

Kiki

Never trust yourself…

That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And the moment Ellis ran after me, I knew I wanted to turn around, to hug him and say I’d never leave him ever again. But I couldn’t. I can’t give in.

I need Henry to follow through with his end of the deal, and I text him right before I start my van, “it’s done.”

I drive away, not really sure where I’m going but I know I can’t go home. I can’t go to the Dog Spaw. I can’t go anywhere Ellis may be able to find me.

I need time away. I need to heal.

I need to bawl my fucking eyes out.

Because I walked away from him once, and I don’t know if I saw him if I could do it again. In fact, I know I can’t.

So, I head to the one place I know I can find some peace. My mother’s house.

I pull into her driveway, and all the lights are off. Ugh. I hope I don’t wake her.

I creep up the cobblestone pathway leading to her front door, and use my key to let myself in. I’m as quiet as a mouse as I sneak into the kitchen to try to find wine, or anything that will help ease the pain of losing Ellis.

Wine goes well with ice cream, doesn’t it?

I open the fridge, and the kitchen light clicks on.

“What are you doing here? I almost called the police,” my mother says, looking a bit frantic as she holds up a frying pan.

“Why would you call the police?” I grab the wine out of the fridge and shut the door.

“I thought you were an intruder.” She glances at the clock. “What are you doing here so late?”

I hold up the bottle, my eyes tearing up. “I need wine.” I move to the counter, trying my best not to completely meltdown. “Want some?”