He started making a rumbling noise deep in his throat as he imagined which one seemed like the most fun, and he grabbed the steering wheel, rocking it back and forth as he pretended like he was plowing up one of the fields. Then the rumbly noise grew high and faster, and Rhys shifted back in the seat as he hung onto the steering wheel, pretending he was sliding around a sharp curve, thinking he just might want to be a racecar driver instead.
“Vrooooooooooooooom,” he hollered. He could almost feel the racetrack rumbling beneath him.
He rammed at the pedal with his foot, going faster and faster, pretending like he was shifting the engine as he yanked and pushed at the stick that came up from the floor close to the seat.
In his mind, he went whizzin’ by two Indy cars like they were standin’ still.
No one could catch him.
“Vroom vroom vrooooooooooooooooom!” he shouted louder, grinning as he shifted harder.
The tractor suddenly jolted forward. His eyes went wide with fear and his heart stopped workin’ in his chest when he realized the tractor had actually moved.
But it was only an inch.
Whew.
But he was bettin’ his daddy still noticed, especially when his daddy started yelling.
He was gonna be in big trouble because he’d been messin’ around the way he wasn’t supposed to do.
His daddy was shoutin’, “Rhys! Rhys!”
The worry that he was gonna get grounded shifted and changed and became something ugly that filled up his chest.
Because his daddy’s voice sounded different.
Hard and high and…and…and afraid.
Rhys shoved at the door. It banged open, and he scrambled out, taking the side like a jungle gym.
His breaths were harsh and short.
Then they went missin’ altogether when he saw his daddy’s legs where they came out from under the tractor.
He was moving them all weird. The heels of his work boots digging into the dirt but goin’ nowhere.
“Rhys!”
Rhys jumped the rest of the way down. Fear covered him as he rushed to peer underneath.
His daddy’s arm was pinned under the metal.
And there was blood.
Rhys gulped, and his head got dizzy, and he was sure he was gonna pass out.
“Oh, no, Daddy. I didn’t mean to.”
“Rhys, I’m pinned. I need help.”
Rhys jumped up, and he grabbed the front of the tractor and yanked at it with all his might.
Straining and heaving and not makin’ a budge.
“I’m not strong enough. I’m not strong enough.” He shouted it, tryin’ harder. Tears blurred his eyes, and he felt like he was in a fog.
“Rhys.” His daddy was forcin’ the words. “Rhys, look at me. Need you to listen and listen good.”
Rhys dropped to his knees so he could see his daddy where he was under the tractor.
He got dizzy again.
Like he was sick in his whole body and it made him feel like he couldn’t move his arms or his legs.
“I’m sorry.” Rhys didn’t mean to snivel and whine, but he couldn’t stop it, the way everything burned and hurt and he felt so scared. “I’m so sorry, Daddy. I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay,” his daddy told him, his face twisted up in pain. “It’s okay. I just need you to pay close attention. You remember where Mr. Crenshaw’s house is?”
Rhys nodded, barely able to see through the tears that streamed in hot tracks down his face.
“Need you to go get him. Tell him your daddy is stuck and hurt and needs help. Need you to run real fast. Like a stallion. Remember?”
This time Rhys’ nod was frantic.
“Now go.”
Rhys flew to his feet, and he raked his forearm over his face so he could see the trail that led to Mr. Crenshaw’s place.
Rhys ran.
Ran so fast that the dirt kicked up behind him.
So fast his chest burned so bad and he couldn’t find his breath.
But he just kept going anyway.
Over the fields that seemed to go on forever. Whipping through the trees. Then he was screaming when he broke through the grove into another field and the house over on the other side of it came into view. “Mr. Crenshaw. Help! Help! My daddy needs help!”
Rhys sat on the hard plastic chair, his legs swinging back and forth.
Back and forth.
With his head dropped down, he watched where the tips of his old worn shoes barely scraped the linoleum.
His heart slugged hard and slow. The sound of it in his ears made his whole body hurt.
Tears just ran and ran.
Forever and ever, and he didn’t think he was ever gonna be able to make ’em stop.
His mama was suddenly there, kneeling in front of him, her hand squeezing his knee. “Hey, you.”
He dropped his head down lower because he didn’t want his mama to see his face. Not how sad he was or how bad he was.
“You can see him now.”
Rhys shook his head. “He’s gonna be mad.”
“It was an accident, Rhys. It’s okay.”