“You think I don’t know that? That’s the only reason I’m sitting here right now. But you can’t decide what makes me happy. You can’t decide my path. You can’t take my choice away.”
He laughed out a dark sound of self-reproach, and he looked to the ceiling as if he were searching for an answer before he dropped his head back between his shoulders, talking to his feet. “Every intention I’ve ever had was to take care of you, Maggie.”
Warily, he lifted his gaze to mine. “Like I told you last night, since the second I met you, I knew you were my responsibility. Even then, before all the bad shit went down, I knew. I see it now, Maggie. I get it. I fought for your happiness so hard that I didn’t give you a chance to fight for it, too. And I’m so damned sorry for that.”
I touched his knee. Caught in his sincerity. My brother who had sacrificed everything for me. “Because you love me.”
“Yeah, because I love you.” His nod was almost grim, and he was shaking his head in disbelief. “Rhys?”
Just his name had butterflies fluttering.
“I know he doesn’t exactly check off all your boxes.” I cracked the joke as best as I could, trying to keep the trembling out.
Royce leaned his forearms on his thighs.
Looking at the floor. Processing.
“No, he doesn’t.” He tipped his attention back to me, a single brow quirked. “But does he check off all of yours?”
My chest squeezed.
Happiness and faith flitted and danced.
“All of them, Royce. Ones I’d always hoped for and ones I didn’t know existed.”
Royce groaned. “Don’t need those details, Maggie.”
It was almost playful, then his tone turned pensive. “He’s different than what I imagined for you.”
He didn’t need to declare every detriment that clearly went through his mind.
He was too old for me.
He had a reputation.
He was trouble.
He had something dark inside him that he still hadn’t shared with me, though I doubted Royce knew anything about that.
“Yeah, he’s different than what I imagined, too. Different and better. We might look like we don’t match, but he perfectly fills the voids inside me, the same way as I do for him.”
“He treats you right?” Royce’s pained expression told me he desperately needed the confirmation.
Wistfulness played across my soft smile. “You know, when I saw you with Emily, when I felt you with her…”
I splayed my hands over my chest.
Not holding back.
Deciding for once I wouldn’t downplay the way I experienced those around me.
“I thought I would never meet a man who would love me the way you love her. Would never have a man who looked at me that way. It was so beautiful and real…and I was so happy for you two. So happy. And I thought that would be impossible for me because it’s so rare to find something so true.” Overwhelmed with the intensity of it, moisture filled my eyes. “And I feel that when he touches me. When he looks at me. With everything that comes from his mouth.”
Royce’s lids dropped closed. Then he nodded. “I’m happy for you, Mag Pie.” His one-sided smile was sad. “Terrified, but happy.”
“I know that.” I pushed to my feet. When he dropped his head, I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his crown and whispered the words, “Thank you for always worrying about me. For taking care of me. For fighting for me. Because of it, I’m here, with this chance. The chance to experience. The chance to make my own mistakes and to claim my own victories. The chance to love.”
I could hear his hard swallow. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I started to walk out, and I stalled when his voice hit me from behind. “Just…be careful, Mags. Please. Don’t wanna see you get crushed.”
I tossed the most confident smile I could find over my shoulder while a bolt of foreboding slammed me. The fact that Rhys had been keeping something from me. The fact I still had all that money sitting under my bed. The fact I’d kept the real danger I was in from my brother.
I guessed in some way, all along, I’d been protecting him, too.
“As long as you promise to stop beating up my boyfriend.” I forced as much playfulness into it as I could find.
This time he cracked a smirk. “Now what kind of brother would I be if I promised that?”
I scowled. “Most likely a lying one.”
He laughed, then his smirk softened. “I’ll try.” He fiddled anxiously with his fingers. “It’s hard for me to let go.”
“I’m not asking you to let go. I’m asking you to stand beside the choices I make.”
No matter how reckless they might be.
I guessed both Rhys and I were exhausted because we spent the rest of the day lazing around.
Content.
Comfortable.
Rhys was tough, but I was positive his head had to feel like he was carrying around a boulder. Throbbing and swollen and aching like crazy.