Until Cece (Happily Ever Alpha World)

“Are you serious?” I swear to Christ if that motherfucker walked in the door this very second, I’d beat him to a bloody pulp. “You have a very rare whole weekend off, and he wouldn’t let you and your parents take the girls for a little well-deserved vacation? And on top of that, he’s still not going to see them until late Saturday evening?”

“Yep,” she says, popping the P, and I can tell she’s fighting back tears. “I just don’t understand. He doesn’t even try to see them at all during the week, when he totally could if he wanted to. I’ve never once told him he couldn’t come get the girls and take them out to dinner or something, but he’s never even asked for the opportunity.”

“He doesn’t see the girls at all during the week? Just the one night on Saturday?” I knew that’s how it was when he was still living with his parents, but I thought for sure once he got his own place a few weeks ago that he would’ve been spending more time with them, since he now has the room.

“Nope, he works Monday through Friday, then Saturday afternoon he plays softball with his friends, so he picks the girls up after that and then drops them back at home Sunday after they have dinner.”

“Naekkeo, you know that’s fucked up, right? I know he has to work, but he also needs to spend more than twenty-four hours a week with his kids. I get my son every other week for the entire week, and that still doesn’t feel like enough. What the fuck is he thinking?”

“I know it’s fucked up. I know. I can remember my mom pointing it out over and over again when my dad did the same thing, and now that Mike’s ‘in love’ with someone else, I know this schedule isn’t going to change. I just pray it doesn’t get worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“My dad pulled this same shit when he and Mom got divorced. He married the woman he had been having an affair with, and then he stopped showing up to see me and Mia. Then eventually he forgot about us all together.”

Seeing the pain she’s desperately trying to hide, it takes all my strength to stay put on this side of the bar and not go to her to kiss her broken heart away.

“Thank God that Mom found Chaz, who totally put in a lot of work to earn our trust.” She smiles, even though tears are brimming her eyes. “I’ve got enough issues as it is. I can only imagine what I would’ve been like without Chaz showing us what a real man is like. I probably would’ve gone full doormat mode and not kicked Mike out when he admitted he was having an affair.”

I don’t try to argue with her. I’ve known plenty of women, and men, being in the military and deployed, who had done just that after finding out their spouse cheated. But I want to know more about Cece’s distant past. I want to absorb every ounce of information she’s willing to give me about herself, to help me understand more about the woman I love but can’t have.

“Do you ever talk to your dad?” I ask.

“No. I don’t know my half-siblings either.”

“He had more kids?” My jaw clenches, knowing where this is going. I already knew Cece had severe abandonment issues, but to add the feeling of being replaced would make it all the more painful.

“Two sons. I can remember him saying he always wished Mia and I were boys, so I’m sure he’s way happier with his other family.”

“Naekkeo, please tell me you know it’s him who’s missing out on being in your life. He’s the asshole who isn’t getting the opportunity to better his world by knowing you, your sister, your kids. It’s all his loss,” I implore, wanting so bad to take her in my arms, to hold her and rock her until she believes me.

“I know that. Truly, I do.” She rolls the final set of silverware and tosses it into the bin, sliding it across the bar for me to put it underneath the counter. “I’ve mostly gotten over my daddy issues. At least the anger part of it. I’ve gone through almost all those stages of grief, you know? Plus, when they finally got divorced, my mom became a way better mom, especially after we moved into the new place and she got with Chaz. Us girls got a dad who actually wanted us, who didn’t tell us at every opportunity that he wished we were boys. I just wish… maybe that it’d all happened sooner? When I was younger. My girls’ ages instead of when I was already a teenager. Then maybe I would’ve had a little bit more time to get over it, a little more time with Chaz, instead of running off and getting married to the first man who promised me forever.”