Until Cece (Happily Ever Alpha World)

I’m to the point now that I’m actually considering what Steph suggested a while back. What is Corina up to? Surely, she doesn’t work as much as she claims. And really, how many people around here need a full-time stylist? I could maybe understand if she had made a name for herself and we lived in Nashville, where plenty of celebrities were, but no. She didn’t, and we’re not. So why has she had her parents take care of our son so much all these years, and even more than usual these past several months?

Or maybe I’m just so desperate to be free of her that I’m making up shit in my head.

Either way, I can’t go three more years living like this. Not when there’s a woman out there who’s meant to be mine. I feel it in my very soul that we’re meant to be together, some star-crossed lovers shit that I would’ve rolled my eyes at a year ago. The timing is just… terrible.

So I decide right then and there I’m going to talk to my lawyer. Even with the prenup in place, there has to be a way to get out of this sham of a marriage and not lose everything. There just has to be. Even if it’s a hefty settlement where I’d have to give up half of all my belongings, it would be worth it in the end. Hell, I’d give up everything if it meant I could have Cece, but I know that would devastate her, and she carries enough on her shoulders to feel guilty about that.

But whatever I do, it needs to happen quickly. I feel Cece slipping from between my fingers, and I can’t let her truly give up on us. I know she’s distanced herself from me, but I could see in her eyes at Talon’s house that she was having to force herself to push me away. She wanted me just as badly as I wanted her, but with Talon and Mia there witnessing my meltdown, and then her mom and stepdad joining the audience, I could tell she was trying to hide from them everything she feels for me. And I can’t say I blame her. After everything her mom went through, there’s no way in hell she wouldn’t give Cece shit if she admitted she had feelings for a married man. She’d categorize the woman I love the same way she did the woman her first husband slept with—his mistress, a whore of a homewrecker. The same way I’m sure Cece herself thought about the woman Mike slept with at work. There’s no way whoever it was didn’t know he was married if they worked together every day, yet she slept with him anyway, knowing he had a wife and kids at home.

Cece knows I’m still legally married, and that’s all her mom would care about. So I understand why she pushed me away in front of her. But her eyes told me another story. Her eyes begged me to not give up on her. Her eyes pleaded for me to find a way to fix this. And I don’t know how, but it’s now my life’s mission to do just that.

28

Cece

I finally have time to catch up with my sister. She and I both got busy, her with work and me dealing with the house and other things. A realtor came to check out the house yesterday and start the paperwork to sell it, and he told me the break-in might have been a blessing, because fresh paint and updates always help with a quick sale. The girls and I have been staying at the house Mom and Chaz rented for the week, and tonight will be our first night back in our home.

“So how did it go?” Mia asks me by way of greeting when she answers my call.

“It went all right,” I say, my voice portraying how tired I am. It’s been a long-ass day.

“Just all right?” she prompts.

“Well, he was defensive when I brought up the amount of time he spends with the girls, and he threw it in my face that he has to work to pay all the bills.”

“Seriously?” She sounds annoyed, and I don’t blame her.

“Are you really surprised by that?” I sigh. “I told him that I have to work too and that if it weren’t for you being here, I don’t know what I would do.”

“You would have made it work,” she tells me gently but adamantly, yet I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. She’s wrong. I would’ve been lost without her.

“I wouldn’t have, Mia, and you and I both know I was drowning, and he didn’t even notice.” My chin wobbles, thinking about my own husband not giving a shit about me. I’m better off without him. What I wouldn’t give to have a man who puts me before anything else, who actually cares about me and my feelings. A man like Winston.