“So,” she said thoughtfully, “you came here tonight to see how Rose and I were getting on without Jake, didn’t you? To see if we were suffering as much as you feared.”
Blood rushed in my ears as I nodded, still unable to face her.
“We’re okay, Rhys. Yes, we miss Jake. But death is a part of life.” Her fingers found my chin and gently guided my face back. Her blue eyes were glassy as she peered up at me. “It happens to all of us at some point. But if you don’t let anyone in, you’re never going to fully enjoy living.”
I exhaled, battered inside, but couldn’t speak.
“What do you want out of life, Rhys?”
“What Jake had. A family. A home.”
I wanted to tend to my gym, teach kids the art of boxing, then come home and make dinner for the brilliant girl with the biggest, prettiest brown eyes I’d ever seen.
The realization stuck in my throat and pushed at my chest until I made a sound of distress. Marcy gave me a sympathetic squeeze. “Then go get it, Morgan.”
By the time I left Marcy’s house, I felt pulled thin as rice paper. One wrong move and I’d tear. Ordinarily, when I got like this, I ran, no matter the time or the weather. I’d run through my problems, push my body to the limits of exhaustion, and then fall into a deep sleep, dead to the world.
But I didn’t want that now. I wanted to see Parker.
Problem was, she wasn’t answering her phone. Or texts.
Doubt began to niggle at the pit of my aching stomach. She always answered. Always. My doubt turned to fear when I thought of who I’d been antagonizing lately. Would that fuck Fairchild actually harm her? Ice coated my gut as I hopped on my bike and drove to Parker’s condo.
It was pouring rain, and I was thoroughly soaked by the time I got there. I rubbed the rain out of my eyes to clear my vision and headed for the stairs, forgoing the elevator, needing to run, needing to get to her as fast as I could. No one answered when I banged on the door. My fear turned to dread.
“Parker!” I shouted. “Are you there? Open up!” My shouts rang through the hallway, sounding more than a little desperate. “Parker! Don’t scare me like this. I need to know you’re okay.”
Movement sounded on the other side of the door, and finally—finally—she opened the door. My body sagged in relief, and I stormed in, hauling her close and hugging her tight.
“Jesus, Tink,” I rasped. “You scared the hell out of me. Why didn’t you answer your phone? Or the door?” She felt stiff in my arms, and I realized I was probably freezing her. I stepped back but kept a hold of her upper arms. “Were you sleeping?”
Her eyes were puffy and her face blotched. But she shook her head and stood like a plank of wood staring at me as though she’d never seen me before. “I was … distracted,” she finally said.
Distracted? The uncomfortable pinch of doubt returned to my gut.
“I’m getting your floor all wet,” I said.
Water dripped from the ends of my hair and ran over my face. But I didn’t let go of Parker. I feared if I did, she’d somehow be lost to me. A ridiculous idea, but I couldn’t shake it. Not with the cold and withdrawn way she stared back at me.
“Why are you here, Rhys?” Her voice was thick and stilted.
“What do you mean, why? You’re my girl.” My throat felt constricted. This whole night was off, filled with too much emotion that I didn’t want to face. “I needed to see you.”
When she pulled away, I let her go, never wanting to use my strength against her. But my hands flexed with the need to hold her again.
“It’s a bad night,” she said dully.
As if to punctuate her point, lightning flashed and thunder boomed.
I rubbed the water from my face. “I know. But today was … hard.” I didn’t want to admit the weakness in me. I didn’t. But I couldn’t stop myself from exposing it. “I need you, Parker.”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Parker sucked in a sharp breath, and her listless expression snapped into focus. “For sex? Is that what you need?”
I didn’t know what to make of her response. Nothing about this night felt normal. “Yes. No,” I amended when her eyes narrowed. “Jesus, Tink. I’m not good at this.”
“This?”
“Communicating,” I said.
One delicate brow lifted. “Oh, I think you do fairly well communicating what you need.”
Her disdain hit me like a lash. “Not if this is your reaction, sweetheart. I had a rough night, Parker. And all I wanted to do is to get to you, to be with you. It isn’t just sex.”