And then there’s the fact that he’s so close. All I have to do is turn and I’ll be wrapped around him like paper on a present.
“No,” I squeak out. “I’m good.”
I can feel him nod. The bed creaks as he eases closer. And then I feel it.
Oh, fucking hell. Just no. He can’t do this to me.
It’s big, it’s hard, and it’s nudging my ass.
We both freeze. Well, Gabriel freezes. His dick? It nudges me again, that blunt head pushing into the small of my back as if to say hello.
“Involuntary reaction,” Gabriel says in a strangled voice. “Ignore it.”
His hard-on says otherwise.
I swallow with difficulty. “Your hard dick is poking me in the ass. I can no more ignore it than if you slapped me in the face with it.”
He stills, a sound gurgling in his throat. I’m about to apologize for being so crude, when he bursts out laughing.
Oh, how he laughs. He laughs with his whole body, shaking the bed as he flops onto his back and just laughs. The unfettered, deep, rolling laughter is so unlike his usual reserved self that I find myself grinning.
In the dim light, his body is little more than a silhouette, his teeth a flash of white across his face. He wipes his eyes as he giggles and snorts and laughs like a giddy boy. And I love every second of it.
Gabriel should always be like this, uninhibited and free. And if I have to suffer through his cock prodding my ass every night to get him there, I’m more than willing to make the sacrifice.
* * *
Gabriel
* * *
It’s been so long since I’ve full-out laughed that my abs are sore. Apparently laugh muscles aren’t the ones I work with my morning sit-ups. This ache feels different. Good and full, as if exhausting myself from laughing put something back in me that I’d lost. I rest my hand on my stomach and stare up at the ceiling, letting the sensation sink in.
At my side, Sophie flops her head back against the pillows, drawing my attention. She’s beaming at me as if I’ve made her night, and she’s so bloody gorgeous, my breath hitches.
This girl. I could lose myself over this girl. Who would have thought?
My smile fades as reality sets in, hard and uncomfortable. “Chatty girl, what are we doing?”
The light in her eyes dims. “What do you mean?”
“This.” I gesture between us and sigh. “Me asking you to be my sleep partner. It was a mistake.”
“What?” She comes up on her elbows, moving into the light slanting through the windows. “Why? What’s going on, sunshine?”
I hate the hurt that’s clouding her sweet face, but I’m doing us both a favor. I pinch the corners of my eyes to ward off an incoming headache. “Lack of sleep has addled my judgment. It was unfair to ask you sleep with me like a goddamn security blanket night after night.”
“Gabriel—”
I can’t stand the soft almost-pity I hear in her voice, and I cut her off. “We’re adults, not children. Sleeping together every night will lead to expectations. Mistakes.”
Silence looms. I don’t want to see her expression.
“I’m attracted to you,” I blurt out. Heat swamps my cheeks as frustration claws at my gut.
Sophie swallows hard, and I risk a glance. Her eyes are wide and darting over me, but a smile is pulling at her lips. I hate that smile. It holds too much hope.
“Sophie, I have no capacity for relationships. I’ve never had one, never wanted one.”
Her nose wrinkles. “That sounds lonely, if you ask me.”
I’m beginning to agree.
“I’m too busy to be lonely.” Also true. Months can pass in a blink, and I will not have noticed.
The bed creaks as she eases closer. The lemon-sweet scent of her surrounds me. I know how smooth her skin is and how soft her body feels. I hold myself still, refusing to grab hold.
Her face hovers above me.
Don’t do that. Don’t dangle in front of me like some carrot. I’m holding back by a thread here.
I pinch my eyes closed. Her delicate fingers touch my shoulder.
“Truth, Gabriel? I’m attracted to you too. But I think you know that.”
Of course I know. That only makes the temptation sharper. It would be so easy to use her. Sophie deserves more.
“This job is my life and the entirety of my focus,” I say. “This tour is long and tight-knit. I cannot worry about hurt feelings or regrets. And I cannot do casual with you, Sophie. You deserve much better.”
Her voice is gentle and thoughtful. “I get that. I don’t want casual either. I’m through being someone’s fun time. I want more.”
I’m proud of her for demanding better. I still can’t look at her. “Which is why I said it was stupid of me to ask you to do this.”