He abruptly shuts up and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Shit.”
“By asking me to room with you,” I finish for him.
His gaze slides to mine, and I see him wince. “Are you upset?” he asks.
“Why should I be? You told me from the beginning me why you wanted me there.”
He can’t hide the flinch of surprise. But he doesn’t say a word, just eyes me as if waiting for me to explode.
I laugh. “How could I be mad about that? I’m the one you needed. If I’m honest, it kind of melts me.”
He begins to smile.
“But I am pissed at you.”
“Oh, for pity’s sake,” he bursts out, lifting his hands in exasperation, as he turns to the doctor. “You see? Lei è completamente pazza.”
Whatever he said makes Dr. Stern chuckle.
I glare at both of them, stalking over to his bedside. “Don’t you go yammering off in Italian. I don’t care if it sounds like hot, buttered sex; I’m still pissed.”
Gabriel shakes his head. “Why are you angry? I don’t understand.”
“You never told me how badly you were suffering, you stubborn ass. You let it get to this point.” I lean in until we’re nose to nose. “I care about you. I don’t want to see you faint like that ever again.”
“Trust me, Darling, I’m not planning on fainting like that ever again.”
“Is that supposed to reassure me, when you refuse to see a doctor when you’re feeling ill? You can’t control everything, you know.”
My answer is his stubborn chin lifting and his lush mouth flattening. But I see the flash of fear in his eyes before he conceals it. I’ve been so worried, I missed the signs. He’s terrified right now. I glance at Dr. Stern.
“May we have a moment?”
“Certainly.”
As soon as she leaves, I sit by Gabriel’s side and take his hand. It’s cold and clammy. “Talk to me.”
His thumb runs along my knuckles. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Do I need to do some cuddle therapy here?”
His eyes meet mine, and I see the weariness in them. He clearly thought he’d hidden his feelings well and good. It makes me smile, sadly.
“I know you, sunshine. We might as well be on a plane right now.” I squeeze his fingers. “You are not all right.”
With a sigh, he rests against the headboard. His throat moves on a swallow. “I hate doctors.”
“Dr. Stern is very nice.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “Not in that way. Bugger…I didn’t get myself checked out because I hate seeing a doctor.” Blue eyes filled with pain meet mine. “My mum… She was fatigued, always sleeping. Fainting spells.”
I go ice cold. “You think you might…”
I don’t say the words. I can’t. I will not give them credence. But I crawl into bed and wrap myself around him.
He leans into my touch. “I fear it. I always have.”
I see the effort it takes for him to admit that, and I snuggle in closer. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and squeezes back, his lips pressing to the top of my head.
“Do the tests, Gabriel.” When he tenses, I push on. “It worries you, and that makes everything worse. Do them and get that fear out of the way.”
He doesn’t say a word, just breathes against my hair, his hand clutching my shoulder.
I raise my head. “If it were me, what would you say?”
“To take the bloody tests,” he grumbles.
I kiss his lips. “I will not leave you. Ever.”
He must see the determination in my eyes, because he gives a short nod.
When we call in Dr. Stern and tell her his concerns, she calls the nearby hospital and sets up a few tests.
* * *
It takes two days for the results to come back. Two days of Gabriel stomping around like a snarling bear to hide the fact that he’s terrified. Two days of me distracting him with sex and holding him tight when he sleeps to hide that I’m terrified.
Nothing gets done, despite Gabriel’s insistence that everyone go about their business. At the moment, he is the top priority, whether he likes it or not.
On the day the doctor is supposed to call, I outright give up trying to pretend I’m okay. I don’t bother getting out of my PJs but sit in a chair and flip through a magazine, seeing absolutely nothing.
Somehow Brenna, Rye, Jax, Killian, and Libby find ways to be near him too. They’ve all ended up in our suite sitting around as well. It’s as if we’re all waiting, circling our wagons. And oddly, Gabriel doesn’t send anyone away. He might not admit it, but he needs his friends.
Silence settles over us so thickly it’s choking.
When Gabriel’s cell finally rings, I think we all jump out of our skin a little. I stop breathing all together for a moment. I can’t move. Gabriel answers, his voice low. And when I can’t hear what’s being said, I go to him, take his cold hand in mine. My heart pounds so loudly, I hear it reverberating in my ears.