Monsters' Gift (Crude Hill High 2)

“No, I’m not here to tell you where to go. You can sit and enjoy.”

She sighed and both of her hands landed on the keyboard.

As the last notes lingered out, sadness swept over me. She was so miserable. The tears in her eyes caught me off guard. I went to her, sitting beside her and wrapping my arm around her.

“Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry. You can cry. I just, I hate to see you so upset, especially when I know we’re the cause.”

She sniffled. “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but I fucked up big time.”

“None of this is on you.”

“No? If I had pushed Ashley away, none of this would have happened.”

“You’re right, she’d have been dead. We wouldn’t have thought to save her.” I gripped her arm tightly.

“Don’t say stuff like that.”

“Why not? It’s the truth. She’d have suffered along with her mother. You know the facts. We all do.” I couldn’t let her believe any other way would have been a happier option for Ashley. It wouldn’t. “What you can’t do is blame yourself for all of this. None of this is your fault. Life happens. Shit happens. Don’t blame yourself.”

She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry either.” I pushed some of her hair back off her shoulder.

“I’m not like this. Sad and miserable, yeah, that has been me.”

“You’re normally sad and miserable?”

“Yeah, having four men give you up can cause a great deal of heartache.” She sighed. “I always promised myself that if I got to see you again, I’d be different. I wouldn’t let a single moment go by without telling you how I felt.”

I tensed up. “How do you feel?” She looked up at me and I cupped her face, wiping away the tears. “No more tears.”

“You know how I feel, River.”

“I’ve got an idea, but I don’t know completely.”

She chuckled. “You just want me to say it, don’t you?”

I winked at her. “It would be nice to know what my girl thinks of me.”

She sighed. “You’re a pain in the ass.”

“I’m lovable.”

Her gaze ran over my body. “Where’s your knife?”

“I can cope without one being in my hands.” I slid my fingers into my back pocket and held it up for her. Opening the blade, I rested it on top of the piano. “I always keep one close at hand, though.”

“I get that.” She rested her head against my chest.

No words were spoken. I guessed I wasn’t going to hear them tonight. I didn’t mind. We were still on her shit list. I got it. We’d all fucked up. Still, I didn’t like how badly Caleb was taking it. I don’t think he felt guilty for using Ashley for his own personal means. I think what he was upset most about was getting caught. He couldn’t stand the idea of Emily hating him.

“I love you,” she said.

At first, I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly, but there was no mistaking the words that fell from her lips.

“I love you too,” I said.

She lifted her head. “You didn’t have to tell me if you didn’t feel it.”

“I do. Letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do.”

Her laughter filled the air as she rolled her eyes. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I’m being serious. No joking around.”

“You were kidnapped. The stories of what happened to you during high school were the stuff of legends.”

I shrugged. “Either way, I knew I was either going to die or make it out alive. With you gone and no easy way of getting you back, that was the nightmare.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“The love of my life was out there somewhere and I couldn’t get to you. None of us could. I knew without a doubt I wouldn’t be able to stand by and watch you fall for someone else. Just the thought of it makes me want to kill.”

“I’m not with anyone else. I never found anyone. Ashley said I should go on dates, but I couldn’t. It felt like I was cheating.” She pushed some hair off her face and I watched her stifle a yawn. “Do you think she’s okay?”

I didn’t know if I should lie to her or not. Earl had a bad reputation, but when it came to women, it was always a murky image. No one knew for certain the kind of man he was.

“I believe he’s taking really good care of your friend.”

“Do you believe that?”

“Yes. Her virginity is precious to him. To a certain extent, he needs her innocence, so he’s going to do everything he can to treasure it.” I was talking out of my ass. I knew I was, but I had hope. Hope or plain stupidity, I wasn’t sure yet.

She put her hand on mine. “Thank you. It means a lot. I’m going to go to bed.” She leaned over and kissed me before pulling away.