Fangs for Nothing (The Fangover 2)

Feeling like there was an inside joke she was not privy to, Lizette studied the duo at the pool table. “Who is Benny?” Lizette asked.

“He’s a stripper who works at the g*y club, and he’s friends with my sister. I should say hi. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

Suddenly aware of the fact that she was wearing Johnny’s T-shirt stapled closed and Johnny’s oversized nylon sports shorts, Lizette rose with Johnny and tossed her hair back. She really wished she hadn’t lost her Louboutins . . . she’d prefer to be wearing them if she were going to be introduced to a well-dressed transvestite. He was bound to be up on fashion and Louboutins were like style armor—no one could touch you if you were wearing them.

“Benny! What’s up, bud?” Johnny shook his right hand, the free one, with the broad-shouldered pool player. “Who’s your friend? I think I saw you at Zelda and Saxon’s wedding last night, right?”

“Totally. That wedding was full of fabulous people. I loved it, even if Zelda is a bit of a bitch.” Bob Mackie Cher stuck her/his hand out. “I’m Richard.” He grinned. “And yes, you can call me Dick. In fact, I prefer it.”

Lizette marveled that his voice was so deep, in sharp contrast to his very feminine appearance. His cheeks were as smooth as a baby’s bottom, and she wondered how much the laser hair removal had set him back.

“Who is this little precious?” he asked, smiling at her, false eyelashes fluttering, feathered headpiece bobbing slightly.

“This is Lizette, my friend in town from Paris. We got a little drunk last night and uh, found ourselves a bit tied up.” Johnny lifted their handcuffed hands.

Did he have to mention that? It was possible no one would have even noticed if he hadn’t brought it up. Now she had Dick and Benny grinning at her.

“Nice to meet you,” Dick said. “I guess the cuffs explain the interesting ensemble.” He gestured to her shirt.

“Pleasure,” she said with a nod, though she wasn’t really sure it was.

“I’m Benny.”

The other man stuck his hand out. She shook it with Johnny’s limp hand dangling below hers, because she couldn’t exactly shake with her left hand. “Enchanté.”

“I’m straight,” he told her, which seemed a little unexpected. “I just dance at the g*y strip club because the money is good.”

“That’s nice,” she told him, unsure of what a proper response was.

“If you were a g*y man, he’d tell you he’s g*y,” Dick said, rolling his eyes. “Benny likes to get whatever he can. Which I can’t say I have a problem with, but just so you know the score.”

“Thank you, but I am not interested either way,” Lizette said, trying to be polite. She really couldn’t imagine herself feeling amorous toward the bulky Benny, even if she hadn’t just been sexually intimate with Johnny.

“She’s with me, bonehead,” Johnny said dryly. “Can’t you see we’re handcuffed together?”

“Well, how do I know why you’re handcuffed? Maybe it was a social experiment. Maybe it’s some kind of weirdo ritual you guys do, I don’t know.” Benny waved his hands around. “Hey, is Stella still dating that bass player?”

“Yes, she is,” Johnny said. “So no go for you.”

“Damn. You know I want to bag your sister. I’m sorry, maybe that’s tacky, but it’s true. She’s like my first—”

Johnny cut him off. “Have you seen Saxon?”

Benny’s jaw shut. Dick shook his head. “No. Not since Zelda got her wig in a wad and threw us out of the reception last night.”

“What time was that?”

“Two.”

“Hmm.”

“Were we still there then?” Lizette asked Dick. “Did you notice?”

Dick eyed her shrewdly. “You don’t remember?”

“Not exactly, no. I cannot say I was paying attention to the time.” She had no intention of admitting the entire night was a complete black hole.

“I didn’t notice,” Dick said, in a dismissive way, not looking her in the eye.

For some reason, Lizette didn’t believe him. There was just something about his posture that seemed stiff. He sounded friendly, but she had the sense he was not a friend to them.

“Hey, if you want those cuffs taken off, I have a friend who is fabulous at picking the lock. I can give him a call.”

Johnny glanced at her. He didn’t look suspicious of Cher at all. “Sure, that would be great. I’m sure Lizette would appreciate just a little bit of space.”

What did that mean? Two hours ago she would have thought it was thoughtful, but now she felt like there was a hidden meaning behind his words. Maybe she did need a bit of privacy to collect her thoughts. Johnny had offered for her to stay with him and she had said yes automatically, without even stopping to weigh the consequences. She was not normally impulsive, but it had felt right.

She was falling for him. She could not help herself.

But now she had the feeling that something was simply . . . off.

“I saw Saxon,” Benny said.

“What? When?” she asked, because Johnny was conferring with Dick and didn’t seem to have heard him.

Benny reminded Lizette of a puppy—he was quite eager to please and possibly would lick you if you let him.

“About an hour ago. We were having a drink to celebrate his marriage.”

“An hour ago?” she asked in surprise. “How long were you together?”

“Couple hours. I ran in to him here after my day shift at the club. So I guess it was probably around ten.” But then he looked around and patted the pockets on his tight jeans. “But wait, what time is it now?”

“It is two.”

“Then I’m not really sure. But it was tonight. That I can tell you for sure.” He gave her a friendly smile.

That was interesting. Not Benny’s smile. The fact that Saxon had been with him after waking up for the night. Did that mean he’d been with them in the dungeon until he’d woken up? But surely he would have roused Zelda as well if that had been the case, at the very least to make sure she was all right. “Did he mention not remembering his wedding night?”

Benny gave her a blank stare. “Who doesn’t remember their wedding night? I mean, come on. It’s kind of noteworthy.”

“That’s true.” Lizette glanced over at Johnny and Dick, who were now busy looking at the screen of Dick’s phone. “Care for a drink, Benny? Let’s sit at the bar, shall we? Johnny, Dick, can we sit at the bar?”