Fangs for Nothing (The Fangover 2)

Zelda cracked a whip in Bob Mackie Cher’s direction, looking furious. He squealed and ran behind Sixties Cher for protection. Johnny felt a headache coming on, one no acetaminophen was going to fix.

“So where does Eric fit into this?” Josie Lynn asked, frowning at her former employee. “Why would you do this to me?”

“I just wanted to hook up with Ashley,” Eric mumbled, rubbing his eyebrows. “I might have, like, a thing for her.”

“Well, I think it’s safe to say Eric has learned his lesson.” Katie reached over and undid his restraints. “Go home, and next time think with your head, not your heart.”

“Babe, I don’t think it was his heart he was thinking with, but another body part,” Cort told his wife with a grin.

“Your sweetness is my weakness,” the parrot squawked.

Stella let out a laugh. “Is the parrot quoting Barry White again?”

Johnny felt like sighing. His heart was broken. Did no one notice that? Or were they all just blinded by bedazzled men and hoodwinking juvenile criminals? It wasn’t every day Johnny found himself in love with a woman, and yet no one seemed to notice.

Once freed, Eric made a break for the front door, abandoning Ashley. So at least Johnny wouldn’t be the only one not getting laid that night.

“Are we all done here?” he asked, waving his arms around. “Has every question been given a stupid answer?”

“I think we need to march Miss Ma’am here on down to her daddy,” Believe Cher said, taking Ashley by the arm. “And have a little chat about what is ladylike behavior and what isn’t.”

As long as it didn’t involve him, he was cool with it.

* * *

JOSIE LYNN DREADED talking to Zelda and Saxon. She couldn’t have known what Ashley and Eric had planned. But she knew she had to say something. It had been her employees that had ruined their special day.

“Zelda,” Josie Lynn touched the Amazonian woman’s arm. “I’m so sorry this happened, and on your wedding day.”

To Josie Lynn’s surprise, Zelda just smiled.

“Honey, this is New Orleans. I never expected to have a normal wedding.”

“Right,” Josie Lynn agreed, because she wasn’t quite sure what else to say.

“Just like I didn’t expect to find myself married to a real vampire,” Zelda said, smiling at Saxon. “Isn’t that right, baby?”

Saxon put his arm around his wife, looking almost tiny beside her. “She didn’t even believe me until today.”

Josie Lynn frowned, casting a baffled look between the two of them. Vampires? Okay, maybe her employees weren’t the only ones who were nutso.

Zelda gave Josie Lynn a conspiratorial look. “Well who actually expects to marry a vampire? But then again, it appears you are also involved with a vampire, so you understand.”

Josie Lynn stopped gaping at Zelda to stare at Drake. He stood beside the bar, talking to Johnny. A vampire.

Then all the things she’d seen and heard came back to her in full clarity. The way Katie and Stella talked about Drake’s past. Those moments when he seemed from another time. The talk of their kind. The mentions of bats. The blood—it had been blood in the fridge. Even his furniture.

Could it be true?

She looked at him again. She’d fallen for a vampire. And even if it wasn’t true, she’d fallen for a man who very likely thought he was a vampire. She looked back to Zelda and Saxon. They all thought they were vampires.

Oh my God. She had to get out of here. She’d promised herself not to ever have feelings for a bad boy again.

Well, she should have told herself not to fall for madmen either.

* * *

“YOU HANDLED THAT well, my friend,” Drake said, clapping Johnny on the back. “I felt like I was watching Perry Mason at work. Questions answered. Mystery solved. Even if it was the worst plan for a crime that I’ve ever heard. Framing a tranny gang of Chers. Only in New Orleans.”

“Yeah, only in New Orleans,” Johnny agreed, only half hearing his friend, his thoughts back on Lizette. How could she just leave without letting him explain? Apologize? Beg?

“So I see you got free from the uptight little Frenchie,” Drake said.

“Don’t call her that,” Johnny snapped.

Drake raised his hands. “No offense meant.” He looked around. “Where is she anyway? I’d have thought she’d want answers, too.”

“She’s gone.”

Drake didn’t speak for a moment. “You fell for her, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Johnny wasn’t even going to deny it. Or play it down. He had fallen for her. Hard.

“And she just took off?” Drake said, his expression of sympathy making Johnny feel even worse.

“Fucking took off, man,” he said, shaking his head. “Just gone. Goddamn Raven. She wouldn’t even let me explain.”

“Raven? Figures that ass**le is involved. Sorry, man.”

* * *

DRAKE COULDN’T RECALL ever seeing his friend look so upset. Johnny was all about a good time, all the time. He was also about keeping things light. No heavy emotions. No getting too invested. No falling in love.

Drake understood that philosophy. He’d always been the same way. He’d been burned way too many times. But just like Johnny, he’d let that rule fly out the window tonight. He was thoroughly smitten with Josie Lynn and he was well on his way to truly being head over heels.

“Damn,” was all he could say to Johnny, because he understood how the guy must feel. He’d be devastated if Josie Lynn just walked out on him.

He looked toward where she’d just been talking to Zelda and Saxon, but she wasn’t there. And the newlyweds were headed toward the bar. He frowned, looking around to see where she went, but he didn’t see her amidst the opulent furniture and patrons.

“Hey, where’s Josie Lynn?” he asked Saxon when his friend reached his side.

“She left.”

“What?”

Saxon shrugged. “She just suddenly got all weirded out and said she had to go.”

“Go? Where? Why did she get weirded out?”

Saxon looked confused by the barrage of questions. “I don’t know where she went. We were just talking about the wedding and she suddenly said she had to go.”

Why would talking about the wedding make her suddenly leave? Had she headed back to the reception venue to gather her stuff? But why wouldn’t she tell him? Why wouldn’t she think he’d want to go with her?