I didn’t know how long we kissed on that riverfront bench. I didn’t remember when the world sat back on its axis. I had no recollection of the moments following that first remarkable kiss.
I knew that falling for Ash Talmadge in one kiss was foolish.
I shouldn’t hand him my heart on a platter.
And yet I did it anyway.
7
Savannah
December 25, 2006
“Get bundled up, girls,” my mom said. “I swear, this is the last time I’m going to say it.”
My sisters Eve and Elle clambered around, trying to find their jackets, hats, and gloves. Only the oldest, Steph, was ready, and that was only because she had her own five-year-old daughter, Charity, who refused to wear any gear for our annual trip.
“Dee, please,” my mom said, tossing me a scarf, “find your jacket.”
Only my mom called me Dee. She had since I was a baby. Even as I grew up as Lila. It didn’t matter that Steph was a Stephanie and Eve was an Evelyn and Elle was a Maryellen and I was a Delilah. We had nicknames and that was that.
“I already have it on.”
“The other one. You know it’s too cold for your cheer jacket.”
I grumbled and went for my thicker one. I’d begrudgingly returned my ski jacket. So, I grabbed the hand-me-down that Elle had given me last Christmas. This was the only time that I was grateful for school uniforms. I shouldn’t complain. There were many who were less fortunate than us. People who didn’t even have winter clothes. But it was hard to keep perspective at seventeen when all my friends were on a ski trip without me.
It was probably one of the reasons for our annual Christmas tradition. Every year, Mom made us get all dressed up, and we’d dish out Christmas dinner at the soup kitchen and deliver Christmas presents to those in need. As much as we all grumbled, it was our favorite tradition. We were lucky to have a mom who cared.
The doorbell rang suddenly.
“Who is that on Christmas?” my mom asked. “Dee, can you get that?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
I yanked the door open, tucking my hat into my pocket. My gasp must have been audible since the rustling in the background grew silent as I found Ash Talmadge in a suit on my doorstep.
“Ash, hey. What are you doing here?”
“Dee!” my mother said. “Invite the nice boy inside.”
I breathed deeply and opened the door wider. “Why don’t you come in?”
“Sure. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s fine,” I told him quickly.
We’d hung out as much as we could since school had gotten out. I had work and dance, and he had work, so it wasn’t as much as either of us wanted. Not by a long shot. But he hadn’t said he was coming over on Christmas.
“Who is this, Lila?” my sister Eve asked.
“Sorry. This is Ash. Ash, this is my family.” I pointed out each of my sisters, who answered excitedly at the prospect of me having a boy over. I never would have invited him in if I could have helped it.
“Pleasure to meet you all. I’ve heard so much about you,” Ash said.
“Dee didn’t mention she had a boyfriend,” Steph said.
“Why don’t we give them a moment of privacy?” my mom said as she saw my face turning beet red.
“We’ll go to my room,” I said quickly.
“Sure, honey.”
Elle and Eve shared a look as I passed them. I fought the urge to punch them. I took Ash’s hand and hurried him back to my room. I hadn’t thought this through. Ash had never been to my house, and I definitely hadn’t picked up. It was a Christmas mess. All of my presents covered my bed, and clothes were strewn on the floor.
“Sorry about this,” I said, hastily hiding bras and kicking clothes out of the way.
“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have barged in like this.”
“I thought you were with your family all day.”
“I am. I can’t stay long. We’re on our way to Christmas mass,” Ash explained. “I wanted to drop off your Christmas present.”
“We weren’t exchanging gifts until tomorrow.”
Ash’s dad was going back to work right after Christmas. Something about building character again. His mom had some kind of event planning meetings, and he’d be free most of the afternoon.
“I know, but …” He shrugged and passed me a messily wrapped gift. “I wanted to give it to you today.”
“You shouldn’t have. I don’t have yours wrapped.”
“Tomorrow is still on,” he assured me.
I flushed. “All right.”
“Just open it, Lila.”
I tore open the Christmas wrapping paper, letting it fall to my floor. I turned the gift over in my hand. It was a copy of Little Women. A leather-bound copy with deckled edges and a red ribbon to mark my place.
My heart stuttered. I pressed the beautiful book to my chest. “Ash,” I whispered. My gaze rose to his with a vulnerable smile on my lips. “You didn’t have to do this.”