Hold the Forevers

“Poor baby.”

“Can’t beat the cost of living at least.”

“That’s for sure. You had a literal shoebox in San Francisco.”

“It got a little better, the longer I was there,” he said. “But not by much.”

“You could have a mansion here for what you paid for that shoebox too.”

“Hey, I’m glad that I’m back.”

I waited a heartbeat before responding, “Me too.”

His eyes swept up my body before landing on my eyes. The sincerity in them. The ache at him leaving for San Francisco, at us not working out, at the circling we’d been doing all this time.

“Hey, y’all!” Kristen yelled. Sunny barked at her. “We’re heading to the store to get more booze. You’ll have the house to yourselves. Be back. Bye!”

Then she was shepherding the other people who had come up early that Friday out of the house. The place would be packed with people tomorrow, but today, it was relatively empty.

“She’s not subtle, is she?” Cole asked.

“Not at all.”

Kristen had gotten it into her head that she was going to play matchmaker. When I’d given her some more of the details about what had happened with Cole, she’d made it her life mission to get us back together. This was our someday.

“I like her determination.”

“Yeah. She thinks if she gives us the house alone, we’ll fall into each other’s arms.”

“Is that so?”

I bit my lip and nodded. “She thinks that this is our break.”

“And what do you think?”

I took a deep breath. Was this a trap, or did he really want to know? I’d always thought Cole was such an open book, but lately, he’d been so guarded. I wasn’t sure if he was ready for the truth from me.

“I don’t know,” I lied.

“What do you want, Lila?”

The question caught me off guard. The earnestness in his voice that said he was ready for me to admit it.

“You,” I whispered.

“You want me?”

“I always have.”

“And the last two months?”

I huffed. “Surely, you know I’ve wanted you the last two months, but the ball was in your court.”

“And here I thought, this was your call.”

He beamed that bright Cole Davis smile and held his hand out. I tentatively stepped forward and put my hand in his. He tugged me toward him, and I climbed into his lap. He wrapped an arm around my waist.

I belonged here. That much was for certain. I fitted against him so effortlessly as if no time had passed at all. I decided to revel in that and not think about anything that had kept us from this moment.

“You know I’ve always wanted you, Lila. You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted.”

My heart constricted. “Really?”

“I know we’ve waited these two months, but I thought you wanted the time. It’s been a long time since we were here.”

“We’ve seen each other since the breakup.”

“That’s different. This isn’t like that time I saw you when you were cheering for the Falcons or … in New Orleans.” I swallowed at those words, but he continued. “You know it isn’t the same.”

“It is, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to try again.”

“I never wanted to end things.”

“Me neither.”

That day on the beach when he’d ended things on the phone felt like a lifetime ago. The heartbreak was no longer fresh. The betrayal no longer so keen. We both deserved a fresh start.

“So, what do you say, Sunflower?” He pressed our foreheads together. Our lips mere inches apart. I could feel his breath hot against me. “Can we try again?”

My heart was in my throat. “I’d like that.”

His hand snaked up into my hair and pulled my mouth down to his. I’d spent hours kissing Cole. I’d memorized the feel of his lips and the brush of his tongue. The surety with which he used his mouth and hands and body. But I’d never been kissed like this before.

Not that first time in a stadium full of people with our faces on the jumbo screen. Not the last time before the breakup when I’d held on in San Francisco so long that I’d nearly missed my flight. Not even when we’d run into each other in the interim and everything had changed and nothing had.

No, this was a new first kiss.

A fresh start.

A promise.

Unlike the other times we’d tried this, this was going to take.

21

Atlanta

November, 27, 2011

“That’s a break, ladies!” the Falcons cheer captain called from the sidelines.

The Falcons were up big against the Vikings at the end of the first half, and we’d earned our break. I dropped my poms and took a good, long drink from my water bottle. Dancing for four hours straight always left me both energized and exhausted. It was a strange yet potent combination.

I retrieved my poms once more and faced the halftime performance. The players had already run back into the locker room, leaving only a few staff and photographers behind.