I shook my head. “No, I’m going to go back to the hotel. I just want to sleep.”
“Lila, please … I know I said we could leave it up to chance, but I thought …” He ran a hand back through his hair. “I thought we could work this out.”
“Cole, I can’t. We left it up to chance … and we lost. That’s it. I need the time and space. I need to be alone. Just … alone.”
“I fucking hate this. I hate what happened and that we can’t work it out.”
“I hate it too.”
And I did. So fucking much. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and say that none of it mattered. If it had been a one-time thing, that would have been different. But this was the culmination of a long line of problems. I couldn’t stay here and deal with that. I couldn’t let it keep happening.
“Okay,” he said with a sigh. “You’ve made your choice. As much as I don’t like it, I do have to respect it. You want space. I can give you that. You want time. I can give you that too. But it’s not the end for us, Lila. It’s not the end.”
Tears pricked at my eyes, and I hastily looked away. “I think it is the end.”
“I told you once that I wouldn’t wait forever for you. But I will.”
I stepped back, hating what I was about to say. “You shouldn’t wait. I’m not going to change my mind.”
It might have been chance that the Falcons had lost today, but it felt like a nail in the coffin. We’d let fate spin us on the wheel, to pull us back together, and the universe had said no. That was enough for me.
36
Savannah
July 22, 2017
“Remind me again why I agreed to this?” I asked Marley as we parked on a garage deck next to the riverfront property.
“Probably because you want to show Shelly Thomas how awesome you are.”
“Yeah. Right. My vanity won out.”
“Ego.”
“Whatever,” I said with a laugh.
We hopped out of the car and headed for the banquet hall overlooking the river.
“Plus, I made you suffer through my ten-year high school reunion. I should accompany you to yours.”
“Yeah. I just … we’re probably going to see Ash.”
“Oh, we definitely are,” Marley said. “Didn’t you even read the invitation?”
I pulled the invite out of my purse. “Uh, not really?”
“His family donated the space for the reunion. There’s a thank-you to the Talmadge family in small print at the bottom.”
I perused the invitation. And yep, there it was.
“Oh.”
“But!” Marley said encouragingly. “It will be fine. We don’t even have to talk to him. We can walk in, have a free drink, show those old mean girls what’s up, and then find a real bar.”
“This sounds like a supremely bad idea.”
“You’ve had a shitty few months. What’s the worst that could happen?”
I clapped my hand over her mouth. “Don’t jinx us. The worst is always waiting around the corner.”
She cackled. “Okay, fine. Chill. It’s just an excuse to be in Savannah while Gran is sick. I don’t know how much longer she has. I wanted you to be here, and I used this as an excuse.”
“Mars,” I said, pulling her into a hug. “I’m so sorry about Gran.”
“Me too,” she whispered. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have teaching obligations, but …”
“But if something happens to Gran, then take the time off that you need.”
She nodded and looked away. “Yeah. I’ll figure it out.”
We took the elevator up to the top and stood just outside of the melee. St Catherine’s and Holy Cross were having a joint reunion, like they’d had a joint prom. I hoped that it didn’t go as poorly for me as prom had.
I took a deep breath and then walked up to the desk. Name tags were scattered across the table, and a chirpy girl from my class with the name tag Val checked me in. I grabbed stickers for me and Marley.
It was exactly what I’d expected the high school reunion to look like. A little cheesy, a little Catholic. I was actually astonished they were serving alcohol. It must have been part of the deal of getting it off school property. I was thankful for whoever had made that call.
We beelined for the drink line and waited impatiently with what felt like the rest of my class.
“So,” Marley said next to me as she eyed the crowd, “what are you going to say if you see Ash?”
“Nothing. I don’t want to see or talk to him.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Shut up.”
Marley laughed. “I mean, of course you want to talk to him, but I don’t think that you should. Despite months of bad dates, you should probably take Josie’s advice and be single. Find yourself or whatever.”