Dark Wish

Apparently, my body couldn’t take another night of no sleep.

I groan and rub my eyes, wishing I could slap myself, but that would do me no good. I should’ve just stayed awake.

I even looked at myself in the mirror last night just to force myself to stay in the moment. My eyes were red and puffy, but the rest of me was as white as a ghost. But when I tried to sit down to take a moment of rest, I still slipped away even though I avoided the comfy bed with that soft blanket and heavenly pillow that I was dying to drown myself into.

And all I could think about at that moment was that man. Eli. And how he could make me beg with a simple stare. Just the memory of him strapping me to the bed makes goose bumps scatter on my skin again.

One minute, he was a gentleman, his touch like feathers on my skin, and the next, he trapped me on the bed and forced me to come over and over until I was completely wasted. Is that my punishment? Is this what I deserve?

No, I mustn’t think like that. None of this is my fault. I didn’t ask for any of this.

But you did ask him to punish you.

I close my eyes and force myself to remember why, but I can’t for the life of me bring it to the forefront of my mind. All I remember is the guilt swirling through my veins with every step I took, every book I placed back in the bookcase, every word I uttered.

I am guilty. And I need to be punished.

But for what?

I groan to myself, wishing I wasn’t such a mystery, even to myself.

But Eli knows … he knows exactly what I did, and he won’t tell me. Not until I’ve succumbed to every one of his devilish, twisted ideas.

What else does he have in store for me?

I rub the bridge of my nose. I wish I could remember why I’d even say those damn words, but the longer I mull over it, the more I’m coming up with blanks.

Maybe I only said it because I was bored with my life, and when I was trapped by this handsome stranger offering a chance at something else, I took it. And that’s exactly why he did it. Why he pretended to be so charming, why he was such a gentleman to begin with …. To lure me in.

My hand balls into a fist, and I slam it onto the elbow rest. “Dammit!”

I’m just making myself crazy by rehashing it all. I’m still stuck here in this room that’s more like a gilded prison than anything else. There are only two ways out of here—one is by force, and the other is by playing along until I can find a way to escape.

And I’ve already deduced option one isn’t worth the risk. I was never a fighter anyway … but I am a thinker, so surely, this brain can find a way out of this mess I started, can’t it?

Suddenly, the door handle is pushed down, and I jolt up from the chair and bolt to the corner of the room, one of only two spots not seen by the cameras. Yeah, I’ve done my research. Last night I looked at all of the ones I could find and pinpointed their reach by watching them move. Lucky for me, there are blind spots where I’ll be at least a little bit safer. As far as safety is ever possible in a house like this.

Who knows what lies beyond those doors that just opened. I don’t.

But she does.

Her footsteps are like light little taps as the girl steps inside. The door is still open behind her, and I marvel at it as though it’s a gateway into another world.

“Eli requests that you have breakfast with him.” She adds a gentle smile. “But you need to get dressed first.”

I look at my feet and back up again at the flimsy nightgown I’m wearing. I’d completely forgotten that I’d put this on. After he bathed me, I kind of zoned out, but just looking at myself makes everything flood back into my mind. How he came into my room after I’d been coming for hours on end and unlocked me when I begged him to. How he picked me up and carried me to the bathroom, then stripped me naked and put me in the tub. How warm and nice the water felt on my aching skin. And how gentle he was with me.

I shrug it off and force myself to stop thinking about him that way. A man like him, who just whisks someone out of their comfort zone and into captivity, cannot be kind.

The girl walks to the wardrobe and opens it up, rummaging through the clothes before saying, “Aha!”