I wonder where the footage is. If I could ever see it.
If he’s watching me right this very second.
And at that moment, I decide to stick up my finger and flip the camera the bird.
Suits him right.
Even if I can’t do what I want, even if I can’t escape … this tiny rebellion will be my way of standing up for myself. I know it doesn’t do anything, but at least I’ve made my point.
I don’t like him. In fact, I despise him. Every handsome inch of his body exudes power and control, traits I do not possess … and I envy that. I wish I could be half as arrogant as he is and get away with it. That I could do whatever I wanted without there being anyone to tell me no.
Maybe I would’ve told Chris exactly what I thought of him when he betrayed me.
Maybe he would’ve begged me to forgive him.
Not that I care. He doesn’t care about me either. If he had, he would’ve come looking for me.
Has he even noticed I’m gone?
My teeth grind against each other, and I force myself to forget him as I turn around and make a swift exit from the library.
Even if I’m being watched, I can’t give up on trying to find a way out, no matter what it costs me. If I’m going to be punished anyway for something I can’t even remember, then at least I can try to wriggle my way out of it all.
Besides, I’m not done exploring yet. This place is like a giant castle with plenty of nooks and crannies. I walk along the staircase and stop and stare at the corridor behind it. The one Eli told me not to enter. What could be hiding there? Something forbidden? Or an escape?
My heart palpitates as I take a step toward it, unable to curtail my curiosity. But I hesitate and stop right before I step over the edge into the corridor.
If I do this, he’ll punish me.
Or worse.
He might take my one happiness—going outside my room—away.
He’s done it before. He could do it again.
I don’t want to risk it.
So I step away again and sigh.
Maybe I’ll have the courage to disobey him someday, but not now when I’ve only just grasped a tiny bit of freedom.
I turn and walk up the stairs, determined not to let anything get in my way again. If I can’t explore down there, at least I can try to find an exit up here. Maybe one of the doors is still unlocked. If one of them has a balcony, maybe I could slip down the railings and use some of the greens growing up against them to flee.
My escape plans are always so elaborate, and my fantasy is running away with me. Because I know none of that could ever happen.
He’d catch me before I’d even try.
But how could I just … give up? Impossible.
So I rummage every door I can find, hoping at least one of them remains open.
I even try the ones right next to my bedroom. Those where the other girls are housed.
I frantically rummage at the door handle, but none of them opens.
“Hello?” someone calls out.
It’s not the same voice as before.
I plant my ear against the door and call out. “Hey. Are you there?”
More rummaging is audible, then someone slams against the door. “Who are you?”
“I’m not one of them. My name is Amelia.”
“Are you going to help me?”
Panic rushes through my veins as I look around, searching for the cameras or any guards keeping watch, but they’re all downstairs.
“I can’t,” I reply. “I don’t have a key.”
“You’re messing with me. Why would you come here if you don’t? How did you even get out?” the woman asks. “Wait. You’re lying. You’re one of them, aren’t you?”
“No,” I reply. “That’s not—”
“Stay away!” She pounds on the door, and I jolt back in shock. “You’re trying to trick me!”
Has her mind been eroded that much just from being locked inside?
“He told me I’d be seduced by sin. I will not let you do this to me! I don’t need more punishment.”
“I’m not here to punish—”
“Leave me alone!” she squeals, and I take a step back, tears welling up in my eyes.
She’s completely lost inside herself. In her mind, I am part of the problem. I’m here to make her feel like she’s sinned.
But I’m not. If only she could see. If I could just remove this damn door, she’d know, and I could tell her and show her the truth.
I have to find a key. Eli, Tobias, and Soren must all have one. But what about … Mary? What if I could steal it from her unnoticed?
If she comes into my room and brings food, I could sneak close while she’s picking up the laundry. Maybe it could work.