“You haven’t discussed it?” she asked, shocked. “All that time in the car and you never brought it up?”
“He refused. He said he couldn’t concentrate on the road and the conversation. I thought we’d separate once we got here, and my foggy memory would clear. That we could sit down like adults and figure out the next step. I hadn’t planned on the wedding.” I snorted. “Or the fact that my mother would invite him for Christmas and my entire family would adopt him.”
She frowned at my words. “Well, I understand not wanting such a deep conversation while navigating a storm, but you’ve been home for a few days.”
“We haven’t spoken since he left the wedding.”
“I see. And you didn’t expect to see him on Christmas.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“A bit of a shock, I suppose.”
I didn’t reply. Shock was one word to describe how I felt when I saw him. There were other words such as relieved and elated—which made no sense to me given how he had hurt me.
Wearily, I relaxed back into the comfy chair. Addi and I always liked to sit in the kitchen and talk. Our moms did as well. It was an unwritten rule the chairs had to be well padded, cozy, and big. It felt right.
“What happened after we left last night?”
“Things broke up pretty fast. Heather went home with Reed. Penny, Gavin, and Liam went with Maddox and Dee. Mom, Dad, and I stayed at the Hub for a while. Arguing.” I looked at Addi, the memory of the prior night bringing tears to my eyes. “My dad was so angry. I have never seen him like that. He was yelling and cursing. Furious at what I did, but even more so that I hid the fact that I had gotten married. When I told him that Jaxson and I had been seeing each other secretly, I thought he was going to come here and hit him again.”
“And your mom?”
“She was calmer. Still upset with me, but not in the same way. My dad and I argued, and he refused to listen to anything I had to say. Then they started fighting.” I scrubbed my face, brushing away the tears. “My dad is furious with me and irritated with my mom. Mom is angry with Dad and not speaking to him. She is disappointed in me and hurt. They are both upset.” I looked down, a tear splashing onto the table. “I never meant to disappoint them. I thought I could handle it and no one would ever know—or not find out for a very long time.”
“That wasn’t a very logical thought, Grace.”
“I know. I haven’t been thinking clearly.” I looked at her, meeting her sympathetic eyes. “I don’t know what to do, Addi.”
She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Your dad will forgive you. He loves you too much. Your mom and dad will make up. What you need to do is stop hiding, talk to Jaxson, and figure out your shit, my friend. You can’t hide from this. You have to decide what you want and stand up for it.”
“The repercussions of this marriage…” I trailed off. “I don’t understand why Jaxson is insisting on us staying together.”
“Then you need to ask him. And be honest with yourself about your feelings.”
“He hurt me.”
She gazed at me in silence. When she spoke, her voice was quiet but serious. “And is this your way of hurting him back?”
“What?” I asked, surprised.
“I know you, Grace. I know your heart. If you were involved with him, you must have had feelings. You’re not the sort of woman for dalliances.”
“I loved him.”
“Loved, as in past tense?”
“I don’t know. He was so terrible, and he hurt me so badly. I was so alone and scared. I had no one I could talk to.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you were happy. Getting married. And part of me was ashamed. I felt as if I had been a dirty little secret, and then, I was cast aside. I guess I felt as if I deserved to be alone.”
She shook her head, looking upset. “I’m your best friend. No matter what is going on in my life, you always come to me. And you are no one’s secret. He was as much a part of this as you were.” She stood and hugged me, her embrace tight. “Don’t ever shut yourself off from comfort, Grace. Especially from me. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I sobbed.
Her grip tightened. “Figure this out. Be honest with yourself. Don’t think today. Think next week, next month. The rest of your life. Is this man the one you want to wake up with every morning? Does his smile make you happy? Is he worth the fight?”
She pulled back. “I love you, Gracie. I want you to be as happy as I am. If Jaxson is that man for you, I will support you. If he isn’t, then I will help you. But you need to decide. And more importantly, you need to talk to him and see what he’s thinking, how he feels.” She shook her head. “You know, lawyers are known as big talkers. The two of you need to learn to communicate.” She met my eyes. “Big difference between those two things.”