“Oh?” I asked, finding my voice.
“I know you like to be held at night and that I want to be the one to hold you. I know you will never be over your fear of enclosed spaces, and it would be my greatest honor to make sure you never have to face that fear alone. I will hold your hand, hug your body, and be whatever you need to overcome that fear, even if it is only for a moment, and yes, even if it has to happen every single day.”
Tears clouded my eyes at his words, the genuine sentiments he was expressing.
“I hate that I hurt you. The things I said. I spoke from fear, Gracie. I didn’t mean any of those hateful things I said to you when I broke us up. In my desperation to protect you, I hurt you worse than she ever could have. You never had a time limit. You meant more than anyone ever had or will to me. I saw the pain I caused you that day in your eyes. I knew you really believed me, and I hated myself more than ever for putting it there. I’ve never lied so much as I did that day.” He lifted his head. “But I will never lie to you again.”
My breath caught in my throat at his confession.
Our gazes locked—his was as honest and open as I had ever seen. “I love you,” he said. “Those are words I never expected to say. Words I never expected to feel. But I do. I love you. I want you as my wife. I want you by my side. I don’t want to be without you. Ever.”
I could only blink.
“I want to discover every little thing about you. I want to share your happiness. I want to be the cause of your happiness. I want everything with you.”
All I could do was whisper his name. He grimaced ruefully and ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t know how to say this properly, how to do this, Gracie. But with you, I want to try. Please give me the chance to try.”
I shook my head in disbelief.
Tears formed in his eyes, gathered in the corners, shimmering in the icy blue of his gaze. Except there was no ice, but warmth, need, and a new emotion I was having trouble believing.
Love.
Did he really love me?
“I waited too long,” he said. “I let my fears overpower me, and I stayed silent, which hurt you. But I heard you earlier, and I thought you must still love me—even a little.” He exhaled hard.
I struggled to find my words. I was overwhelmed and shocked. Scared to believe what he was saying because I wanted it to be true.
He hung his head, shaking it slowly, then looked up. The devastated look on his face shook me. “I didn’t want to do this, but I have no one to blame but myself. I love you, Gracie. I love you so much that, since it’s what you have told me you wanted, I will let you go. You can have your divorce if that’s what you need to make you happy. Maybe that will prove to you that you come first. That you will always come first.” He looked sad. “Of all the things I have lost in my life, losing you will be my biggest regret. I will never stop loving you. I will never stop missing you.”
He turned away, his back to me. “I think I need you to go.”
His shoulders were bent as if too heavy to hold up. My mind tried to process his words. He was letting me go. Giving me what he thought I wanted. What I thought I wanted.
Except it wasn’t. I was with him the day I married him, and I needed to stop blaming him for it. In his own way, he had been fighting for me, for us, this whole time. He loved me. He’d said the words, offered me his heart, and when he thought I refused it, he let me go so I could be happy.
The one flaw with that logic was that it was Jaxson who would make me happy. Because underneath the anger and hurt, I still loved him. I would always love him. Addi and my mom were right. He was worth the risk.
I laid my hand on his shoulder, feeling him flinch. “Jaxson.”
He turned, barely having the time to brace himself before I flung myself into his arms. “Hold me every night,” I begged. “Never let go.”
He held me in an embrace that was tight and hard. His heat wrapped around me, warming my body and sinking inside my skin. “I love you,” I sobbed. “I’m sorry.”
He kissed my forehead. “No, baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I love you, Gracie. I love you so much.”