“Just because I do not wish it to be the case does not render it untrue,” he said with a deliberately casual shrug.
“Your brothers respect you,” Violet said.
“I did not say they do not.”
“They recognize that you are your own man.”
That, Gregory thought, was not precisely true.
“It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help,” Violet continued.
“I have never believed that it was,” he replied. “Didn’t I just seek your assistance?”
“With a matter that could only be handled by a female,” she said, somewhat dismissively. “You had no choice but to call on me.”
It was true, so Gregory made no comment.
“You are used to having things done for you,” she said.
“Mother.”
“Hyacinth is the same way,” she said quickly. “I think it must be a symptom of being the youngest. And truly, I did not mean to imply that either of you is lazy or spoiled or mean-spirited in any way.”
“What did you mean, then?” he asked.
She looked up with a slightly mischievous smile. “Precisely?”
He felt a bit of his tension slipping away. “Precisely,” he said, with a nod to acknowledge her wordplay.
“I merely meant that you have never had to work particularly hard for anything. You’re quite lucky that way. Good things seem to happen to you.”
“And as my mother, you are bothered by this…how?”
“Oh, Gregory,” she said with a sigh. “I am not bothered at all. I wish you nothing but good things. You know that.”
He wasn’t quite sure what the proper response might be to this, so he held silent, merely lifting his brows in question.
“I’ve made a muddle of this, haven’t I?” Violet said with a frown. “All I am trying to say is that you have never had to expend much of an effort to achieve your goals. Whether that is a result of your abilities or your goals, I am not certain.”
He did not speak. His eyes found a particularly intricate spot in the patterned fabric covering the walls, and he was riveted, unable to focus on anything else as his mind churned.
And yearned.
And then, before he even realized what he was thinking, he asked, “What has this to do with my brothers?”
She blinked uncomprehendingly, and then finally murmured, “Oh, you mean about your feeling the need to prove yourself?”
He nodded.
She pursed her lips. Thought. And then said, “I’m not sure.”
He opened his mouth. That was not the answer he had been expecting.
“I don’t know everything,” she said, and he suspected it was the first time that particular collection of words had ever crossed her lips.
“I suppose,” she said, slowly and thoughtfully, “that you…Well, it’s an odd combination, I should think. Or perhaps not so odd, when one has so many older brothers and sisters.”
Gregory waited as she collected her thoughts. The room was quiet, the air utterly still, and yet it felt as if something were bearing down on him, pressing at him from all sides.