Sighing faintly Lissa tried not to think about the looming proximity of the wedding. Instead she turned her mind to working out how best to tell Joel that she thought he ought to find another housekeeper, one who had a more relaxed attitude towards children.
CHAPTER FOUR
‘WHY AREN’T YOU WEARING a white dress?’ Louise scowled, looking uncannily like Joel, as she sat on Lissa’s bed watching her dress. ‘Brides always wear white dresses,’ she complained. ‘I’ve seen them!’
‘Yes, darling, I know,’ Lissa agreed, ‘but this isn’t that sort of wedding. Now, you’re going to be a good girl for Mrs Chartwell aren’t you? She’s going to look after you and Emma while Uncle Joel and I get married.’
‘She’s got a dog,’ Louise told her, instantly distracted, excited colour glowing in her cheeks. ‘Can we have a dog Lissa? Mummy said we couldn’t because Granny was all … alle …’
‘Allergic,’ Lissa finished for her, remembering her mother’s aversion for any kind of pet. ‘We’ll see,’ she told the little girl. ‘I’ll have to ask Uncle Joel.’
‘Ask Uncle Joel what?’
Lissa felt her stomach muscles tense as Joel walked into her room. He was already dressed for the ceremony in a dark pin-striped suit and a fine white silk shirt. He looked very tall and male, Lissa thought shakily, and for some reason she had the oddest desire to be held against his chest and comforted the way he had comforted Emma the other evening when she fell over and grazed her knee. She wanted her fears and miseries soothed away, the way he had soothed Emma’s she thought crazily, stunned by the impact of her thoughts.
‘If we can have a dog,’ Louise replied promptly, forcing her to take notice of what she was saying, rather than abandoning herself to the enormity of her own thoughts.
‘Louise would like a dog,’ Lissa cut in shakily. ‘I told her she must ask you.’
‘I don’t see why not … but … only if you’re a very good girl,’ Joel added cautioningly when Louise started to bounce up and down on the bed, ‘and that includes not making Mrs Johnson angry.’
His mention of the housekeeper made Lissa remember her own doubts about the other woman, and saying firmly, ‘Louise, be a good girl and go and see if Emma’s awake will you?’ she sent her out of earshot.
Joel was frowning as the door closed behind her and Lissa said quickly, ‘I sent her away because I wanted to talk to you about Mrs Johnson. I don’t like her attitude towards the girls—at least I don’t like what I’ve seen of it. I realise that staff can be hard to find but …’
‘If you want to replace her you can do so,’ Joel surprised her by saying without argument. ‘I’ve had a few doubts myself,’ he told her grimly, ‘but I’ve already been accused of spoiling the girls, so I held my peace.’
Spoiling them? By whom Lissa wondered.
‘All ready?’ His glance skimmed her pale face and then studied the soft cream wool of her suit. The colour was a perfect foil for the richness of her hair, and although Lissa thought she looked far too pale she was conscious of looking good in the outfit—a new one she had purchased for spring and so not yet worn. She had confined her hair in an elegant knot, and on impulse had driven into the nearest town the previous afternoon and managed to find an absurd concoction of feathers and net in a Princess Diana style which made her suit look much more bridal.
‘Almost. I’ve just got to dress Emma and Louise.’
‘I’ll do that for you.’
Once again he had stunned her.
‘Don’t look like that,’ he told her grimly. ‘I do know how to. What’s the matter, Lissa?’ he mocked. ‘Surprised to discover that I’m not quite the ogre you thought?’
His perspicacity unnerved her. He saw far too much, far too clearly.
She managed a light shrug. ‘It’s just that I find it surprising that you should know so much about child care—you being a single man.’
Somehow she managed to make his caring sound suspect, and was instantly ashamed of herself, but he only said quietly, ‘I don’t find it at all unmanly Lissa, and if you do, then I’m very sorry for you … but it’s your problem. John was a devoted father and spent a lot of time with the girls. Amanda had a nanny but both of them believed in being with the children as much as possible and I think that is the right attitude. Too many women shut their husbands out of their childrens’ lives, especially when the children are very young.’
Once again he had made her feel very much in the wrong … very shallow and unfair in her attitudes. Biting her lip, she turned away from him and concentrated on putting on her lip gloss.
‘Don’t wear too much of that stuff,’ he startled her by drawling. Her eyes swivelled sharply to meet the amusement in his.
‘I don’t want to get it all over me when I kiss you,’ he explained softly, apparently fascinated by the slow crawl of hot colour turning her pale skin pink. Her fingers went instinctively to her lips as though to protect them from even the suggestion of his touch. A thick sound stifled in the back of his throat drew her attention back to Joel. He was standing watching her, with an unreadable expression in his eyes, their gold darkened to a burning topaz.
‘You’ve got all the tricks Lissa,’ he told her bitterly, ‘I’ll give you that … but you’re wasting your time playing the shy bride on me. I know the real you—remember …’
‘And knowing—still want me,’ she flung at him dangerously. For a moment the tension of his body frightened her and then he seemed to force himself to relax.
‘An inexplicable weakness,’ he agreed in a slow drawl, ‘but one which I suspect time and familiarity will eliminate.’
He was gone before Lissa could