Farrah bent her head back and took a deep breath. It seemed like she was trying to prolong the inevitable, trying to hold back her orgasm—until she wasn’t able to anymore. She let out a loud sound of pleasure that anyone in the vicinity might have heard. Thankfully, we were in an empty parking lot. As she bore down on me, I couldn’t take it. I lost control, coming hard beneath her as my eyes rolled back. The grinding tapered down until there was nothing left.
As I looked up at her again, she gave me a snide smile—seeming pleased that she’d caused me to lose it.
Gripping her hair, I said, “Are you happy now, Farrah? I’ve never come in my damn pants before. That was a first for me.”
“I’m glad you let go. I only wish it had been inside me.”
“You’re gonna be the end of me,” I whispered, meaning that with all of my soul.
“What happens now?” She moved off of me and returned to her seat on the passenger side.
“Fuck if I know.”
She looked so beautiful with her hair all messed up and her lips red from our kisses.
Still panting, she said, “Can we not try to figure it out for a while? I just want time with you.”
“And then what? What happens when our time is up?”
“Then we deal with that when it comes.”
“That sounds like a recipe for disaster.” I rested my head on the back of my seat. “You deserve better than to have to sneak around with someone.”
“I deserve what I want. And you’re what I want.”
This was dangerous. She didn’t know what she was saying—even if she meant it.
“You’re gonna get attached to me, Farrah. That’s not healthy. I’m not right for you.”
“You really think I’m not already attached to you? You’re all I think about. Ever since the first moment you kissed me, you owned me. You fucking owned me, and these feelings are not going to just go away like magic because I tell them to.”
Hearing her say I owned her did things to me. My mind raced to find a solution. I kept trying to put this on her when I knew damn well I couldn’t stop it if I tried. I’d been instigating shit just as much as she ever had. The realistic side of me knew this was a dead-end road, yet my brain still tried to come up with any excuse to move forward with what my body needed.
Then I had a lightbulb moment that was likely brought on by my dick: Maybe it was better to give in and get it over with. Maybe there was a way to do this without Nathan ever having to know. I offered her a proposition before I could change my mind.
“The fact that we can’t keep our hands off each other doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have a future together, Farrah.” When she looked down, I placed my hand on her chin so she would face me. “Look at me. This will never work long term. If we choose to keep playing with fire, we have to do it with the understanding that there’s an end point.”
A look of concern crossed her face. “End point?”
“We have to end it before Nathan finds out. He’ll never speak to me again, and he’ll treat you like shit.” I must have been crazy for what I was about to suggest. “Maybe we spend the next month…getting it out of our systems. After the month is over, I’ll move out of the house, so we can have some space to really think about things. Now that Nathan has a job, I feel better about doing that. He doesn’t need me anymore.”
She looked hurt, and I couldn’t blame her. But I didn’t know how else to handle it.
Farrah finally spoke. “So…just be together on the down low for a month and then you leave? That doesn’t sound like a good deal.”
“We’ll see where things are at that point. But either way, I move out of the house, since I think that’s best for all of us anyway.”
Farrah stared off for a bit. “I don’t want you to move, but I understand. It’s better to plan on that since we don’t know how this will end up.”
“I agree.”
She looked out the window, seeming to contemplate my proposal.
Then she turned to me and nodded. “Okay. A month.” She reached for my hand and looped her fingers in with mine. “Where are we going tonight?”
“I don’t think we should be alone tonight. Nathan thinks you’re at Kellianne’s. What are the chances she’ll let you sleep over there for real?”
“Pretty high…unless she has a male guest, which is rare.”
“I’ll go to my parents’ house. Let Nathan think I changed my mind and decided to stay over at Alyssa’s—pretty sure he wanted to be alone with Crystal anyway.”