The Crush
Page 84
I nodded. “I needed a break from Niles.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’ve been unsure of things with him for some time. I don’t think I should continue to be in a relationship if I’m so confused. Him calling Nathan a loser was the last straw. I need to be on my own—not in a relationship—for a while.”
Jace let out a relieved breath. “Follow your gut.”
“I don’t know if you heard…but he said he was going to ask me to marry him over Christmas. I’m not ready for that. So I’m glad this happened because I would’ve had to tell him no. That would have been a disaster, especially if he proposed to me in front of his family.”
“Yeah.” Jace gritted his teeth. “I knew about his plan to propose to you.”
“You knew? How?”
“He took Nathan aside over Thanksgiving, trying to convince him to go to North Carolina so you would go.”
That made me feel a tad sorry for him. “I know Niles can be an asshole, but I’m sure he’s very hurt right now.”
Jace’s stare burned into me. “Never mind how he’s feeling. Think about yourself, Farrah. You don’t owe anyone anything—not me, not Niles. When you decide to be with someone, it should be because that’s what you want. All I want is for you to be happy. I mean that with all of my heart. If he made you happy, I would support you being with him a hundred percent, even if I did want to kill him half the time.”
My exchange with Niles had depleted any energy I had left tonight. When I rubbed my temples, Jace took it as a cue.
“I should go.”
“No.” I put my hand on his arm. “Nathan will want to see you when he gets back.”
He placed his hand over mine and squeezed it. “Can I ask you a favor?”
“Okay...”
“Will you let me be your friend? I promise I won’t cross any lines—unless you beg me to.” He winked. “But seriously, I just want to be able to see you.”
I smiled. “I would like that.”
“I miss our conversations at night by the old pool. I miss everything about those days.”
Nathan interrupted our moment when he walked in holding a pizza box.
“Everything still kosher in here?” he asked.
“It is now,” I said. “You missed some major drama, though.”
He put the box down on the coffee table. “What?”
“Niles came by and threw a fit when he found me with Jace. He gave me an ultimatum, and we basically broke up.”
“Are you kidding?” Nathan’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “This is, like, the best news ever.” His smile faded. “Uh, I’m sorry, though. Are you okay?”
“I think it’s for the best.” I sighed. “I’ve been needing space from him for a while.” Tilting my head, I said, “You knew he was going to propose to me, huh?”
“Yeah. I’m not gonna lie. I’ve been freaking out about that.”
“I don’t like how he treated you, Nathan. I turned a blind eye to it for a long time. I’m sorry I did that. Ultimately, he never truly made me happy either.”
“I’m sorry, sis. I mean that.”
Jace smacked Nathan on the back. “Listen, I’m gonna leave you two be. I’ve caused enough trouble for one night.”
“Good trouble, though, brother. Good trouble.” Nathan beamed.
“Dad has been eagerly awaiting my return anyway. Pretty sure he’s been living on Pop Tarts and pancakes the entire time I’ve been gone.”
He gave me a warm smile, and then he was out the door.
I went to bed feeling like a weight had been lifted. Only now I was anxious about what tomorrow would bring.
Chapter 24
* * *
Jace
If I was going to earn Farrah’s trust again, I had to start from the ground up. Three years ago, sex had first fueled our relationship. I had no doubt that intense attraction was still there, but it couldn’t solve this. If I wanted to earn her trust, I’d have to open up about difficult things just as much as I’d wanted her to do the same. With each year that passed, holding everything in had become more toxic for me. So I’d recently started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life. It was too early to tell, but I hoped it would help.
Farrah had been busy with school as the semester came to an end. I spent the majority of my time working on the transition to my new role heading up Muldoon Construction under my dad’s tutelage. I’d planned not to see Farrah until Christmas, although every night I’d been tempted to text her the song “No One’s Gonna Love You” by Band of Horses. I wished she understood that no one would ever love her as much as I would. Yeah, I’m doing a great job of handling this “let’s just be friends” thing. Still, I vowed to give her space, keeping all of that shit inside for now.