The Crush

A wave of nostalgia hit me the moment we entered The Iguana. Even the smell was familiar—alcohol mixed with a blend of various perfumes and sweat.

We found a table, and Jace headed to the bar to get a mojito for me and a beer for him.

When he returned, we sat facing the stage. As the confessions started, it brought back all my feelings from the time I’d put my fears aside and gotten up on the stage myself. Tonight’s confessions were chock-full of emotion—from a girl who hadn’t told her family she was pregnant yet to a man who admitted to stealing his roommate’s panties. As much as I loved listening, some of them served as a reminder of how lucky I was to be in a stable and healthy relationship.

About six months after Jace had first showed me his new house, I moved in with him. We’d been living together for over a year now. At first, I’d been hesitant to leave Nathan, but it turned out to be the best decision, not only for me but for him. Living alone really pushed my brother to put himself out there and start dating again. Who knew what Nathan needed all along was to live apart from me?

I saw Jace nod to a man in the corner.

“Who’s that?”

“No one.”

Jace had been bouncing his legs up and down and fidgeting a lot tonight. He seemed tense.

He suddenly stood.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m the last one up.” He winked.

What?

What is he doing?

Once on stage, Jace adjusted the microphone to his height. A couple of women heckled.

Seriously?

He tapped the mic a few times. “Hi, I’m Jace.”

“Hi, Jace,” the audience said all together.

I covered my mouth.

“I’m here on this stage confessing tonight…because I had the audacity to seduce my best friend’s little sister.”

A mix of claps, cheers, and whistles rang out. My face felt hot.

“Sounds like a simple affair, right?” He looked at me. “But the story is far from simple.”

I got chills as I continued to watch him.

“Farrah was six years younger than her brother, Nathan, and me. When everyone is young, that’s a huge age difference. But she was one of those kids with an old soul. You’d look into her eyes and see compassion and understanding well beyond her years. I knew about her little preteen crush on me. I thought it was…cute.” He chuckled. “When I went away to college, she was still a kid. That was the end of it.”

He paused as the audience waited with bated breath.

“Then let’s just say something really painful happened, and it kept me away from home for several years. During that time, Farrah lost her parents, and I was just…lost. By the time I came home to Palm Creek again seven years later, that sweet little girl had grown up. At twenty-one, Farrah was more beautiful than ever. I ended up moving in with her and her brother to help them pay rent.” He paused. “I bet you can see where this is going?”

I looked around as the audience laughed.

“Sexual attraction is a bitch, isn’t it? It has a way of grabbing you by the balls and not letting go until you give in. Resisting the pull toward someone you’re not only attracted to, but who makes you feel good on the inside, someone you can relate to…well, it ain’t easy. And I failed miserably. I gave in to the temptation and went behind my friend’s back. It was the hottest sex of my life, by the way, and worth every second of the risk we took.”

My face felt flush as the crowd reacted with great enthusiasm.

“At first, she and I told ourselves we wouldn’t get attached. How well do you think that went?”

Everyone cracked up.

“Yep. That’s about right,” he continued. “We couldn’t stop seeing each other because we were addicted.” He exhaled into the mic. “I’m gonna make a very long and complicated story short. Nathan caught us and freaked out. Shit went down. And I somehow convinced myself she would be better off without me. So I left town and didn’t see her for another three years.”

When some of the people gasped, I realized how crazy our story sounded. But I also realized we’d been through so much together.

Jace’s eyes met mine. “Not a day went by that I wasn’t thinking about her. You can run someone out of town, but you can’t tell them who to love. I threw myself into a meaningless relationship with someone else to help me forget. When I was forced to come home at the end of that three years, so much had changed. Farrah could barely look at me. I couldn’t blame her. She’d lost the spark I remembered. I knew I was the one who’d taken it from her. Nathan had forgiven me by this time, which was unexpected. I never thought the person who had hurt me the most would be the one who’d teach me about forgiveness. But the hardest person to forgive is always yourself. It took me a while. Once you can do that, so much becomes possible.”