“Oh God, I’m such an idiot.” He needed to say those words but there was something so wrong about only admitting his true feelings after she’d just given her body to him. She was so much more than sex, so much more than one moment.
She jerked her hand back. “What?”
“I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry, Kace.” How could he explain to her the depth of his feelings? She needed to know it wasn’t about sex. It was about something so much more. Something he was unable to describe.
He turned and looked at her face, unable to meet her gaze. He should have been the one to say it first. He was better than that, and she deserved better than this. He nervously glanced away.
Suddenly insecure, he walked to the bathroom and shut the door quietly. He just needed time to think, time to decide the right words to say so he didn’t screw up the best thing that had ever happened to him.
****
Kacey was numb. For the second time in her life she experienced utter loss. A loss so huge that she couldn’t even cry.
Was she cursed to always have bad sexual experiences? Not that the experience itself was awful. It was the exact opposite, perfect, wonderful. Life-altering and then, nothing.
He’d stared into space.
He’d put his head in his hands.
And he’d walked away.
Just like Jake.
The knot in her throat made it hard for her to breathe. She grabbed her discarded clothes and ran out of the room.
She locked the door to the guest room and slid against it, the tears finally coming, and with them, pain she never knew possible.
The pain of a heart being broken, a girl being rejected by yet another man in the Titus family.
And suddenly she felt exactly like a stripper, like one of those girls Jake salivated after. Quickly, she packed up her things, changed her clothes, and peeked out into the hallway.
Travis was nowhere to be found. It was nearing midnight. She could see if any flights were going out and just hang out at the airport. Anything was better than facing Travis, than seeing the disgust on his face.
She hurried down the stairs and out the front door and ran directly into Grandma.
“Grandma,” she blurted, suddenly feeling ashamed and guilty.
“Honey, where you off to? Where’s Travis?”
Kacey fought hard to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks, but the minute Grandma reached out and touched her, she shattered into a million pieces.
“He doesn’t love me,” she wailed on Grandma’s shoulder.
“Yes, he does,” Grandma said simply.
Kacey shook her head and tried to clear her throat. “No, he doesn’t. It was just like Jake and then…”
“What?” Grandma peeled Kacey from her shoulder and held her head between her hands. “What happened with Jake, honey girl?”
“We slept together, in college, my first time.” She hiccupped. “The night my parents died. And he f-froze. He just sat there afterwards. I was so vulnerable and he just sat there, and then he left w-without saying goodbye.” Tears freely flowed down her cheeks. It was as if everything that had happened so many years ago was finally coming to the surface. All the hurt, the anger, the betrayal.
“And Travis, you and he?” Grandma asked softly.
Kacey nodded and continued, “And he just sat there! He called himself an idiot and went into the bathroom!”
Grandma put her hands on her hips. “I may be old, but that is no way to leave your bed partner.”
“Grandma,” Kacey said, managing a tiny smile. “It doesn’t matter. I’m leaving.”