I hoped that this would banish the curse he'd put on me since my senior year. See? Look Beth? He's not perfect. If I looked really close I could see a slight limp, and I could have sworn there was a tiny scar by his eyebrow., And let's not forget that he probably has gas problems and halitosis.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I was going to give him a damn incurable disease if it was the last thing I did! He needed to be gone, so I could either move on with my own Prince Charming or adopt Charlie, the calico cat.
If I didn't hurry up and get over him and over the fantasy I'd created, I was going to turn into one of those creepy girls who stalks celebrities and tries on all their clothes and jewelry, convincing themselves that they're in a serious relationship.
I wasn't going to be one of those girls.
I refused to be Warren Bates.
So I kept walking.
And I didn't turn around again.
Not even when my entire body felt like it was shaking from the desire to do so.
My stomach clenched. Was it so wrong to want the fairytale? What was so bad about striving for more? Was I being punished for wanting the knight in shining armor to actually have a soul? Most men I'd met were either so shy they cried when I said hi or so boring that I did formulas in my head. The really good-looking ones? Well, they acted a lot like Char's new husband, Jake. Granted, he'd cured his own whorish nature by falling in love, but still. If the good-looking ones weren't gay, they were total players with no souls and the inability to attach to another human being.
I wanted a good one. I wanted to experience what it was like, just once in my adult life.
Just once before I finally gave up.
Thirty, but I figured if no man had been interested in the real me by now, I may as well throw my entire existence into my career, rather than waiting around for someone to rescue me from my castle.
"Dick!" Grandma yelled at the top of her lungs.
Horrified, I looked up.
The barista's name was Dick.
Heat flooded my face.
"Dick! Dick! Dick!" Grandma kept repeating as I slowly stepped away from her embrace. Only her wiry arm came out and pulled me against her body like glue. "It has been an age! An entire age! How are the kids?"
"Good." Dick smiled and shrugged. He looked around forty. "I can't complain. Now what can I get you lovely ladies?"
"Two GNs, extra shot of you know what."
"Got it." Dick grabbed two grande cups and began making the drinks. Then when the other barista wasn't looking, pulled a flask out of a cupboard and put a shot in each of the drinks.
My mouth dropped open. I'd thought she'd been kidding. Joking. As in, Hey, let's get wasted. Ha ha. Not seriously wanting to drink vodka!
He topped the drinks with whip and scooted them toward us.
"What's the damage?" Grandma leaned over the register and smiled.
"You know the special's always free, Nadine. Always." He winked and grabbed her hand, kissing it gently before nodding in my direction and asking for the next person's order.
Grandma handed me my drink and took a long swig of hers.
"How is it possible that you just ordered something that doesn't even exist on the menu?"
"Oh, but it does." Grandma placed her hand on my arm. "It's just complicated. It's like a hidden menu only for me. Howie knows what I like."
"Are you talking about Howard Shultz?" She was kidding, right? Was I getting punked? Light bulb. I was on the show Off Their Rockers! It was the only explanation.
"Oh look, there they are! And just in time."
Grandma took another sip as Travis, Kacey, Jake, and Char briskly walked through the airport, all of them totally oblivious that shit was about to not only hit the fan but fill the airport to the brim, until everyone within the vicinity suffered a slow smelly agonizing death via Grandma.