"Tell you what." Desperate, I said the first thing that popped into my mind. After all, she was all about having fun, right? Not being boring anymore? "Let's eat really fast then go dancing."
"Dancing? You?" Beth's smile returned.
Only this time, I figured it was at my expense.
"Just because I'm a politician doesn't mean I can't dance."
"Oh I know that." Beth patted my hand. "I was going to say it's because you're white."
"White guys can't dance?"
"I give you Justin Timberlake." Beth nodded. "He can dance."
"The man's a god." This from Grandma.
"I can dance like Justin Timberlake," I argued.
Grandma laughed.
"Do you mind?" I glared.
She pointed her knife at me and kept chopping with her left hand.
"No, you can't, Jace. You…" She shook her head. "It wouldn't be possible. It would be unfair to humanity to give you that face and body and then the ability to move your hips seductively. Seriously, I'd have words with God."
"I hope you eat your words." I kissed her cheek.
"And if I don't?"
I didn't answer. Instead, I prayed that all the women I'd dated in college hadn't been total liars.
Chapter Twenty
"So let me get this straight. You sear the meat on both sides, and then you add the wine?"
"Yes." Grandma nodded. "It gives it that perfect moist center."
"Interesting."
Someone knocked on the glass.
The FBI agent straightened in his chair and cleared his throat. "So where were we?"
"Somewhere between drugging, dancing, and Justin Timberlake."
"This should be on YouTube."
"Oh, I just love the Tube! And the Facebook! And the Tweets!"
"Why do you keep putting the in front of those?"
"Out of respect." Grandma's eyebrow rose all the way to her hairline. "You never address the president as president."
The agent paused. "You have me there."
Beth
"Alright, let's see it," I yelled over the bumping music. I was thirty years old, had been drugged by a senile old woman, and I was at a club. Oh, and right, I had been accused of being a prostitute. Cool, I was officially living my own mid-life crisis. At least I had Thor. Then again, this could all be figment of my imagination. I could be tied to a giant computer, Matrix-style, and just making up my own dream world.