"You have," I argued. "Twice."
"It's true," Beth chimed in.
Grandma waved me off. "Question one."
"Shit."
"How is that donkey?" Grandma sighed happily. "He's quite old, you know."
"We know." Beth sighed. "Can we just hurry and get this done? We're burning daylight, and I really need to get a tan."
"She does," I agreed. "White as a ghost."
"Yeah, throw stones in a glass house, Viagra. Let me know how that works out for you."
"Children!" Grandma clapped. "Honestly, what's wrong with you this morning?"
Beth's face fell. "Nothing, sorry, I didn't sleep well."
Was she actually pissed I hadn't made a move on her? Seriously? Did she think it was easy for me to turn around and sleep when I knew she wanted the exact opposite? I'd heard every sigh that escaped her lips, every breath she'd taken, every moan she'd made, every damn toss and turn. I'd almost slept on the floor.
I broke the pencil in half and grimaced when Grandma threw another one at my face. I barely caught it before it impaled itself in my cheek.
"Question one." Grandma sniffed. "As a child, the cartoon character you most identified with was…?"
Grumbling I wrote down my answer.
"Question two." After a teacher pause, you know the pause teachers do to make you sweat it out for a minute before they ask the next question, Grandma spoke, "Name your most secure moment as a child."
Grimacing. My pencil hovered over the paper. I honestly didn't know how to answer. My entire childhood had been based around my parents' approval. I was secure in their love — but not secure in my success. When I was six, I'd had nightmares that my dad had told me he wasn't proud of me anymore.
I scribbled down my answer and waited.
"Final question," Grandma called. "If you were a food, you would be what? And why?"
I rolled my eyes. "Is this even real or just another one of your ploys to get us to…" I shook my head, letting my voice die off.
"Aw, Jace, you scared you're going to get the wrong answer? It isn't a test," Beth joked. "Just answer the questions so we can hurry up and go."
Rolling my eyes, I answered the last question and gave Grandma my paper.
"I see." Grandma read my paper and then compared it to Beth's, which was a little humiliating.
What if her answers were better than mine? What if mine were stupid? Why the hell did I care?
"Lovely." Grandma beamed. "Just lovely. You're dismissed."
"What?" we said in unison.
"You may go." Grandma's smile widened.
"But…" I scratched my head and let out a nervous laugh, "you didn't even tell us how we did? I mean, wasn't there a point to that exercise?"
"No," Grandma took a sip of tea, "I was just curious. You know me, flighty as a seagull." She laughed. "Ta-ta. Use sunscreen!"
Beth jolted up from her seat, but I kept my eyes firmly on Grandma. Something wasn't right. She was tricking me, but I didn't know how. The longer I stared the more mischievous her smile became. And then she blew on her hand and winked.
"You're evil."